Well V, as your aunt Marie has said many times to me "You wont be happy till someone goes to the ER." It has become how we judge the success of a gathering. You are a brave man. Someday there will be a round table discussion between you, John, Little Joe, Uncle Joe, Big Steve, Little Steve,the Vin Man and myself and you will see you are not alone in you bizarre experiences.

Gene,
I have seen photos of your campfire and was impressed. We too built a fire.

It was our first weekend in my parents new house in Jupiter. We were coming home from Walmart. (All good stories begin this way) We had all one needs for a good blaze. Lighter fluid, starter sticks, A cord of wood and of course munchies. (Not to be confused with Muncho, he lives in Staten Island.) Anyway. We gathered chairs and placed them in a circle around a stone pit. The area was a mud pit as summer is rainy season in Florida. We covered all the mud up with plywood so we wouldn't slip into the fire. This made sense at the time. We then gathered chairs. I think Little Joe was seated in a desk chair. The chair placement was crucial as to not give any one male an upper hand. There was only the four of us this time. Joes and steves al around. It took us a good hour to get that blaze goin. We had to keep dousing it with fluid because the ground was damp, summer in Florida. The Flames rose to the heavens each time we fed their need for fuel. We watched in awe. Each time the fire went down we took turns tossing anything we had into it as well as leaping over it. Did you know a soda can could melt. I thought they said they weren't biodegradable? We even hand a branding iron in the fire that we would periodically pull out and dip in a bucket of water. The bucket of water was for our own safety. We were thinking ahead. At about 2 am we ran out of wood. So big Steve tries to take down a tree with his bare hands. Shaking it to and fro till it resembled a Sine wave at which time the top 5 feet snapped and fell to the ground. Nailing him square in the head. Well that was not right. We all took turns pounding that tree till it was a stump. And when that was gone we broke up into search parties,into the dark with flashlights in search of good wood. The gatherers. Well... Big Steve came back with the top of a tree. The whole top. leaves and all. I returned with a pile of Palm branches and leaves. Little Joe came back with a 2x4 from the garage. It all was piled into the pit. The flames ascended higher than the house but only for a brief moment. Palm does not burn like wood. It flares up and is gone in seconds and in its is place are 8lbs of ash for every pound of palm.

The air hung heavy with ash and we were longing for sustenance after that quest for burnable fuel. I ventured in the house and returned with burgers, buns, a fish-cooking wire implement to cook beef over an open fire and rubbing alcohol. The burgers were lovingly arranged on the cooker and we took turns holding it till we burned our hands and we passed to the left. The alcohol was needed to get a good flame up every so often. We had used everything else flammable in the house. Well we ate those burgers and they tasted like a flat tire you tried to drive home on.

But we were victorious. We had stayed out all night and built a fire. We could survive in the wild. Right? So we sneak in the house thru the back back doors and we get our first look at each other in the light. We are all covered in ash and looked like we got caught in a blizzard. So we strip down to our boxers and leap in the pool. Mom was a little irritated the next morning. She said the fire lit up the bedroom all night and every 5 minutes it flared up. El Duce told her "Let em be. They burn down the house then you get mad" Fire. It still fascinates us. When boredom strike there are two answers that will forever be entertaining.

...Farts and Fire

Just think John, our fascination with fire was inevitable. It began with Otto. It progressed with the apt house burning once a week and the blazes they used to set in the garbage cans in the park.

Maybe next time ill bring up the infamous 4th of July at Spumoni Gardens South.