Dobre Ootra (good morning in one of my husband, Jenia's, many native tongues). For those who don't know, Jenia is from Russia and was raised on a farm in the Ukraine for 5 years. This tidbit of information will help me segway into my most camp-like experience.

Me and Jenia were invited to my friend Suzie's aunt and uncle's farm house for a long weekend. The idea alone made us giddy.
So we road up to Northern Florida (a hop away from Alabama)in Suzie's grandma's huge Buick, we were gonna live off the 'fat of the land'. But first, we were going to get a speeding ticket in Ocala...but then we were going to live 'off the fat of the land'.
Jenia and I had envisioned old beat up barns, tabacci chewing farm-hands and a delicious treat of sour cream and sugar after a hard day's work. Or at least that's what he envisioned.
When we got there,we were introduced to the lovely, eloquent Uncle Bubb and Auntie Deb, where they welcomed us to their "Lazy D's". aka house.

It was gorgeous, these people had bucks,'beef must be pricier these days'I wondered. What I thought was their modern-day barn was their business headquarters, not where they barter their pig's fat, but where they sell insurance.

Ah, but we did live like farmers, ok, advanced hillbillies. We were simple, so we got easy jobs. We had to gather up food for breakfast, Uncle Bub went to one of his refrigerators and took out shrink wrapped meat he had slaughtered a week ago, Suzie milked a cow, Jenia was too busy shooting uncle Bubb's antique guns to be productive, and then there was me. I got maulled by the tiny, unintimidating chicken coup. These were like gang chickens, they wanted me dead, their was fury in their eyes as I chicken danced my way through the coup to get eggs. I managed to get 3, and got much slack for that, Jenia & Uncle Bub had been laughing so hard at me. Auntie Deb sympathized with me over the "atmosphere", the moist, natural brown substance that I had all over my hands and shoes. I stayed away from all the other farm animals that day, my job had been done. E-I-E-I-O