There been a few weird incidents that I have witnessed caused by intoxication. Some that have happened in Staten Island, some in Orlando, but the ones that really stick out in my mind are the ones that took place in Jupiter Farms. You know what place that is, the always memorable Spumoni Gardens South.

Billy Chase- Adelphia Cable Guy with an obvious beer gut and sun-drawn leather-like skin. He lives on the outside of his house, and craves Busch beer and cigarettes fortnightly.

Kim Chase- Billy's Busch beer guzzling wife.

It was a normal summer night for the Mastandrea family, we were just sitting down to coffee, when we see someone walk inside without knocking. Well whaddaya know, its good old Bill Chase coming for a visit. This wasn't that much a worry for Big Vin because he already had company over. From what I recall there was Vito Caravella Jr. and Grandma Betty. Two people who were not very ready for what was about to take place in the near future.

Just to keep the already drunk Billy occupied,my father kept pouring more and more shots of scotch for the Hillbilly. Those shots he gladly utilized. Hopefully the man would realize that he was too drunk to speak and he and his wife would be on their way. So we thought.

Yet what we all were not ready for was for this:

Billy: Hey Betty!

Betty: Yeah...

Billy:(slurring) How 'bout we have a little sex?

Betty: (confused) With you? No. Not with you.

Everone stopped and stood in silence, especially Vito. But this was the funny part...it felt as if everyone knew it was coming, yet we were in awe that it actually happened.

Mind you, this woman was in her late seventies and this idiot was his early forties.

Later that night Bill started kissing Vin over and over.

Enough said.

***If there was anyone else who witnessed this incident and think that I left out a few key elements to the story, please feel free to contribute your point of view.