I woke up early this morning with the song "MacArthur Park" playing in my head -- not the original, but the oh-so-70s Donna Summer version.

My cellphone is a POS Blackberry, so much sleeker than the Treo but so much less usable. It's such a nuisance that I hardly look at the thing... which is why I missed Frylock's phone call from whenever he placed it. The Treo had its problems, but all the data in it was so readily accessible. This Blackberry... real Crapberry.

Anyone who is a Facebook fanatic will find something interesting appearing on my page.

Relationship Status:
In a Relationship with
Christen Walsh

BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN, BAZZLE?

Well, I asked her out on the last day of midterms. She said yes...So now we're going out.

Got an urgent phone call from Marlo the other day -- she said they were all standing there with Rudy Giuliani. I said "put him on the phone, I got a few things," but Rudy's a busy man. "Well at least send me a picture." And here it is!

As so well sung by The Specials,

Stop your messing around,
Better think of your future

Indeed! I'd love to see Rudy infuriate the D.C. establishment in the same way he infuriated the N.Y.C. establishment. Now that would make it worth watching the evening news.

As for now, I am emphatically not watching the evening news. Instead, I'm watching stuff like this.

Yesterday I decided I needed to act like a fat American. Normally I don't watch much football -- don't follow it at all, really. But I had heard that the New Jersey team had made it to the playoffs, so I decided I'd actually follow their progress.

So I get myself set in the stereotypical way: with some frozen taquitos (WTF are those?) in the oven, a bowl of chili, and lots of beer I hoogged the couch for the entire day, lording over the remote to our new TV.

We stopped a few times for Monster Trucks. First, to play a few rounds on the Wii, and later when we discovered a tournament being broadcast on Speed Channel. Maximum Destruction took the prize in that one -- they interviewed the driver and he sounded utterly crazed (also interviewed the driver of Blue Thunder and he had a voice just like H. Ross Perot).

But then back to football. As usual, much of it was beyond me -- the penatly calls, at least. I continue to think the game would be more interesting with more of a "no holds barred" rulebook. Likewise for baseball, which pretends to know the difference between an inside pitch and beeanball. Ruins the game. But maybe not as much as footballs truly insane OT rule.

In any event, the New Jersey team won -- despite their best efforts to throw the game.

This morning is pleasantly slow. Was in the basement a few minutes ago (aaaahhh) and took a look at the Pinewood Derby kits awaiting our attention. The race isn't until March 9, but I think we ought to get started on the cutting and the sanding. Maybe we can come home with more trophies this year!

Oh, and here's something else that was forwarded to me today. They got brass?

This morning's news brought yet another example of why Ohio people just can't keep up. The radio show brought on a woman who's complaining how very upset she is (still is!) over a gift she got from her boss for Christmas.

Brunswick -- A cold bottle of "Big Ass Chard" wine has landed Ward 4 Brunswick Councilman Anthony Capretta in a torrent of political hot water.

At-large Councilwoman Susan Hambley [...] received the bottle of brand-name chardonnay wine during a Dec. 17 council meeting.

I got a few things to say about this. First, Big Ass has great wines -- I had my first taste of Big Ass Cab when a bunch of us from the office went to a nearby wine bar and got ourselves a few bottles to celebrate a staff-member's birthday.

The stuff is great -- very full-bodied, good taste, a big wine. In the years since, I've bought more than a few bottles of the stuff. Guido drinks it right out of the bottle.

Next, I haven't been able to find Big Ass Cab or any other kind of Ass in the Cleveland area -- and I've had the local wine store owner inquire with her suppliers. So I'd love to know where this so-called Councilman got his stash. I want in.

Most significantly, the distraught woman who received the elusive wine came on the radio this morning and tried to describe the gift that so horrified her. She could barely bring herself to utter the first two words, and described the "Chard" as a type of vegetable. Proving once more that Kucinich-voters not only don't drink Chardonnay, they don't want to know Chardonnay (or anything else about modern civilization).

Anyway, I think the people who need sensitivity training in this scenario are the racketeering politicians in Columbus who colluded with distributors to restrict Ohio residents from ordering wine direct by mail. Because if it was up to me, everyone would have a few bottles of Big Ass Cab, Big Ass Chard, and Big Zin on hand at all times.

Maybe a few sips of the good stuff will snap Ohio out of its stupor. Fat chance.

WTAM has the story covered.

Today's mail brought me Steve's Christmas card. Not the card he sent us; the card we sent him.

Yes, his mailman still hates him.

Ahhh You have brought up a very valid point. Archiving the firmware to the operating system that will lie dormant for as yet unknown period of time before it manifests itself at the most inopportune time. That's exactly how it works, i will be making this entry in as a point of historic fact in our family history book. There are many for my side of the book. The funny thing is there is a lot from jessica's side that have snuck out over a drink or two in sanibel. I know the insanity is not only on my end of this DNA ladder. I do know that my father is attempting to pass on the sneaker gene. I have returned from my dad's 3 times with new sneakers. I can also assure you that Ellexa is very skilled in maneuvering the electric wheelchair or as she refers to it "Pop-Pop chayer" She will walk over while he is watching t.v. and turn it on as well as beep and move him. And all while she giggles. She requests Roni"s every time we are at the house. She has helped me bake cookies and make pancakes. All exercises archived for later use. So you are correct. Do you speak from experience? Do tell.........
At left is a hat steve bought for ellexa, she wore on our patio as she fed the swarming ducks. Without fear she waved and greeted them and firmly announced "MY TOAST" Then layed back in her chair and said "AHHHHHH"
As for our son...... He is literally beating down the door to get out. We spent all nite in the hospital with contractions but it is a bit early. Sonogram shots show a head of hair and king size testicles as well as being just over 5lbs. With 6 weeks to go that's may be a large child or...............he could be all head. we will never know. AND-------------
This is Ellexa and her new cousin Angelina. Offspring of Pat & Heidi.

Just got in after a few days in NYC. The flight went smoothly (no shit -- American Airlines departed and landed on time). So go figure: an uneventful flight. You're as surprised to read that as I am to write it. Almost as surprised as I was to see Algore earlier this evening (no shit -- I was leaving the restaurant earlier to find my airport car on Seventh Avenue and as I rushed up the stairs I passed a large, waxy-looking old man who was lumbering down the steps; his build said "walking slab of baloney" and his suit said "head waiter"; it wasn't until I passed him that I realized who it was.) No time to stop and challenge him on the nouveau-Malthusian-apocalyptics he peddles so widely -- I had a plane to catch. And catch it I did. I even had a seat way up front, which I like because I can bolt as soon as they open the door at the arrival gate (which I did -- the guy in the seat behind me had a peculiar stink... like a combination of halitosis and fruit-strip gum).

Tommy, I looked at the picture you linked to. That girl is going to tear your heart out. Remember something about drama: Shakespeare wrote drama. Some if his works were of the comedy variety. Some were of the tragedy variety. I found them all so dense I couldn't tell which was which. Such shall it be for you.

And Bazzukajoe, that video brings back many painful memories -- hours upon hours of Wiggles torture.

Everybody crap!
Crap! Crap! Crap!

Ellexa has it just a little too down-pat. And did you just happen to hint to her that it was a really good thing to imitate all those Wiggle gestures? Admit it, you played it over and over and did the gestures yourself so she'd see.

It is thus that otherwise-dormant strands of DNA are activated... You're booting that kid's CPU with all the crazy Mastandrea-firmware that your genetics pre-loaded onto her BIOS. No one will ever know how to service that system... Very cool.

I haven't updated on Nikki. There's not really much to update on.

We went to her semi-formal as friends, and we danced and laughed all night as friends. It was cool. Some drama arose from the night between her, a couple of her friends, and one of her friend's potential suitors. I stayed away from it, comforted and consoled where necessary, and I've been over Nikki for quite a bit of time now.

However...Interestingly...Maybe the Law of Attraction or the power of positive thinking...

I just got invited to the Junior Prom. Sure, it isn't for another four months, but hey, I'm still pumped. I'm going with a girl I know named Christen. She's pretty freaking awesome, and although she's been a little down lately due to some significant family/high school drama, I think something can arise from this.

She's told me a few times she's interested in me, but that she would like to take it slow because of midterms and the exams coming up. I've got no problem with that. Whatever happens will happen.

This is Christen. Cute, no?

This is Ellexa and what she does when she stays home with her dad.



We tossed the tree today. And put up a tent that ellexa got for christmas. For those who have lost track.In my living room we currently have a kiddie table and chairs--a rocking horse--a tent--the weeble castle--a tricycle---an easel with paints and her box of dress up shoes. Don't ask about her bedroom. I am thinking of moving into the spare room.


As a side note all the stores where i work had to walkout in the street due to smoke alarms going off. I walk to my neighbor store-sunglass hut. There is a guy trying toi stop the stream of water firing out of a sprinkler head, the entire store was filled with water. There are 12 guys standing there watching him. He fell off the ladder changing ceiling tiles and grabbed the sprinkler for stability. BAD move. That is bad water.

Steve was right, the "translation" did make me laugh out loud. This other one was pretty good too. Ask Don Vito about these videos -- there was a cable station in Brooklyn that ran these videos in between infomercials for a cheesy mortgage broker. I wouldn't let him change the station -- the videos were so insane. And though I may have developed a slight interest in Shilpa Shetty's navel, I don't think Patricia Kaas has any reason to feel threatened (can't understand what the hell she's saying either). I'd loosen my necktie for her. If she asked. Nicely.

Tonight I exposed the boys to rock and roll. Some old stuff -- some Hey Hey, My My (both versions), some Grand Funk Railroad, and some Dylan. They particularly enjoyed Joan Jett -- especially her kick-ass resindition of Bad Reputation (figures). Cookie tried to sing along; Mojo danced like a maniac, mostly by hopping up and down while holding his chock. I don't play music very often these days, and classic rock only very rarely. But this was a laugh riot.

Wow, that's some ear-splitting shriekage. Very appropriate. True, it would be more convincing if uttered by a man with a chicken-head, but quite good as is.

Da Chimpz went back to school today. Mojo had to be thrown out of bed this morning; both had forgotten how to get their breakfast cereal. They're back now -- I haven't had the nerve to ask how things went today.

I see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree is being mulched... The Berea-Rose tree still stands -- though it is set to be un-decorated soon, probably this weekend. Maybe I'll hack it up and burn it. Outside, of course.

Still no video of the elusive chicken headed coyote bellowing a mating call across indiantown road. BUT!
What i do have is a man in a hat with a tiny horn. For some reason i suddenenly knew what Jack Lanyo felt like that new years eve.

We all satyed up and i thought you would like to see uncle Joe's Pajamas.

Mojo just fell asleep, but Cookie not yet -- though he was about to as we were leaving our friends' place a bit earlier. It's way past everyone's bedtime, so all bets are off. But it is 2008. A brand new year. Yee-ha! Maybe one more drink and I'll hit the sack myself. We've got all our holiday lights on right now, inside and out. I'll be sad taking down all the decorations -- nothing but January brutality to look forward to as the holidays fade away. Oh well. Happy New Year all you Macaroni Dish people.