it is fantastic that christmas went so smoothly in Berea. We had an excellent time as well. I have no photos of chicken headed men screaming expletives at the drunken neighbor over a megafone at 1 am. Would i do have is Ellexa making announcements.

Christmas was most fun and Ellexa knew what it was all about. She was handing out gifts with Douche clause AKA Mike Gallo. Here she is giving a smile. Jessica may be wearing this outfit later.

It was total carnage: wreckage all over the living room. Robots battling in the dining room. The train derailed on its tracks. Monster trucks crushing cars and destroying all obstacles.

It was the aftermath of Christmas morning. And it was very cool.

That was one mighty tasty turducken. Or, uh, tur-duck-hen, as the label actually reads. And the crawfish dressing totally cinched the deal. Cajun-theme notwithstanding, we roasted some carrots and brussel sprouts in the pan and they came out perfect. An excellent dinner for an excellent Christmas -- we spent much of this evening trying to best each other in freestyle competition in the Monster Truck game for Wii. And this after watching a few rounds of the real deal on cable's Speed channel. It was that or another loop of Christmas Story on that other station. Last night's television watching was even stranger -- one station had It's a Wonderful Life and another station had Goodfellas. I spent over an hour flipping back and forth between them -- a fitting way to mark the Eve, I'd say.

Now... if only this blog had more pictures... I'm imagining a chicken, squawking into a bullhorn... Is this normal?

Temperature is plummeting here at Berea-Rose. Even got some snow blowing around this afternoon! It's just as well -- a cold/flu-type bug has made its way through the house so we're not going anywhere. So today we tended to the cookies and the cleaning and I made a couple pans of lasagna -- one of which we tucked into for dinner. Got a razzleberry pie in the oven right now, because Christmas has officially begun around here. Got the music playing on the bottomless DVD of holiday mp3's. I've had to move the truly rude stuff off to other disks now that the boys are old enough to remember/repeat every single thing they see and hear.

Slick Nick, you devil you...

Note to self: resist the temptation to open Christmas gifts early. Especially in Wyoming.

ROCK SPRINGS, Wyo. — A woman stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife following an argument that began when she accused him of opening a Christmas present early, authorities said Friday.

Alane is safe -- her gift isn't even here yet (hmmm... hope that delivery gets here in time).

A flu-like malaise has descended upon Berea-Rose in the last 24 hours. So the first day of my extended holiday vacation was spent with us kind-a sacking out in front of the TV, thinking of all the stuff that we should otherwise be doing. Except Cookie. He feels fine. And he's making us crazy. He's awake now, watching a History Channel show on Ho Chi Minh. Woke up complaining of a nightmare that featured the Grinch driving a rocket-powered sleigh through NYC traffic.

Here's a little something that came to me by way of e-mail -- more proof that Little Vito is just the kind of guy you'd want Christmas shopping for you. Here we have the upshot of his visit to Best Buy:

hello.. im was doin some late night christmas present browsin/shoppin online.. i was on bestbuy.com lookin around for dvds.. i navigates through the links.. lookin for the tv shows on dvd page.. i got to the tv on dvd page.. and i sorted the results by.. priced low to high..and that's when it happened.. i found myself mesmerized and fascinated.. staring into my computer screen.. barely blinking as im scrolling thru all the choices.. numerous pages of olden day television shows.. there is an interestingly odd selection to choose from.. the covers of the dvds.. and the titles.. while i was lookin.. i noticed that my eyebrows were going up.. and down.. and up.. and down.. so i hope u have the time to check it out.. and see for yourself.. what im talking about.. and don't forget to monitor your eyebrow movement.. and u might even buy one of the dvds for someone.. i am buyin my girlfriend.. monster squad on dvd.. and im getting myself.. ITS ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPIA.. its a funny show.. and on a completely different note.. but the thought just popped in my head.. does anyone else not enjoy the ending of scrooged with bill murray?.. there is something about that scene when he is born again.. and ranting and raving in front of everyone.. that starts to drives me crazy.. and as easy it would be to change the channel.. and relieve myself of further craziness.. i just leave it on.. and just get mad at the movie.. the part that gets me the most.. is when he looks into the camera and talks to the movie audience.. or tv audience..tells them.. us.. to sing.. and then isn't even happy at what he hears.. and keeps asking different groupings of people to sing.. "ok now only the real men.. ok ok now the real women".. and in my head all i keep thinking is.. oooooooooooooooooooh what kinda endin is this!?!..

The turducken has arrived. Christmas won't be canceled after all!

(The thing is huge -- and frozen like a rock.)

What a busy day. Earlier today, after rolling out the meatballs and getting the sauce going, I placed my order for the Christmas turducken. I can't wait. Of course, had I seen this article I may have held out for a roast containing even more species of fowl. Bonus for the first shop that finds a way to fold in some mammal meat (would cajun sausage stuffing count?).

Da Chimpz had fun today -- nothing bespeaks merriment for a kid like the words: weekend, Christmas tree, meatball hero and blizzard.

Ah, the joys of modern travel -- you walk up to the kiosk, swipe your credit card for a ticket, walk aboard and relax a bit while the crew takes you to your on-time arrival.

Too bad I'm taking here about Metro-North Railroad and not American Airlines. Getting to the office each morning this week was a piece of cake compared to getting my ass back to Berea-Rose Wednesday evening. Once again, the aircraft didn't get to LGA until way past our scheduled departure time -- but does American update that in their system? No way -- so Andre and I cut short our pizza-eating and head over to the third-world squalor of LGA. I sat on a wobbly bench across from my gate, trying to read, often distracted by an increasingly bold mouse that kept venturing onto the stained carpet, further and further each time until I finally stood up and chased it under a door.

We left about an hour late and when we got to CLE there ws apparently no ground crew available to bring the plane to the gate so we waited more. Which just goes to convince me further that most of Cleveland is run by assholes.

NYC, on the other hand, is a bit of a madhouse this time of year. Plenty of people congregating at Rockefeller Center, gawking at the big Christmas tree. It's lit with LED lights you know -- just like we do it here in Berea.

Wow Crocker Park sounds like my mall. Outdoor walks laid out with trees, fountains and benches. Cafe tables outside the restaurants and also residential units above the stores. Not like the ones on 13th ave, these are luxury apts. 8 story office space and of course the rickshaws. On fri and sat there is concerts near the 2 million dollar fountain that dances to music. I think there is a new store in crocker park. The mall feel and traffic is very different. It is a bit deserted till the evening when it gets busy. Odd.

So i have been taking application for quite some time for seasonal help. Speaking of richshaws i spoke to a rickshaw driver with 1 leg looking for a holiday job. I spoke to a professional actor, several people that have not worked in years, 2 people that did not want to put down thier ss#?, a guy who wanted to work for free for a week to prove himself, 1 application i could not read. I am astounded at what some write down. i left my old job due to conflict with my boss,wrongfully accused of theft, too boring to work there and the best was i was fired because i missed a meating, spelled that way.

Anyway, working in retail for the holiday season is brutal, its fun times but long days away from the house and family. It sucks always being late for the party or your wife going solo. Christmas shopping is even worse, do you want to be at the mall 1 minute longer than you have to after a 10 hour day? You do however get to see every misfit that shows thier face in public once a year. That is the fun part. I wish my family could all work in my store for just one day so i could have a little fun. They could see my day and they could see the monetary possibilities of owning a business. I do need to start a business of my own. Not that it will be any easier but it would be more fulfilling. okay enough.

Been crazy busy around here this week -- even with the day off to go shop at Leslie Crocker Snyder Park in Westlake on Wednesday. Last night was the Light Up Berea parade, and Da Chimpz marched with their Cub Scout pack. Damn, was it cold! The light snows of earlier this week have given is one or two inches of packed iciness on the sidewalks, so winter-wonderland was in full effect.

That Crocker Park shopping experience on Wednesday was strange. I'd heard about that place -- one of those really modern, fully-planned "urban" centers with residential, retail, and restaurants laid out for maximum cool and efficiency. Everything was shiny new. And deserted. Maybe it's because we got there early. Still, walking the stores it felt like that scene in Polar Express where the kids are roaming around the completely empty toy factory, with everything quiet except for faint Christmas music. Sure beats fighting the crowds!

Still, it reminded me of a lame PBS show that aired last week -- the listing described it as an exploration into the decline of Cleveland, a once-great American city. And what was the cause of that decline? I listened hard for something convincing, but all they had was vague finger-pointing that laid the blame at the restless feet of all those vainglorious folk over the years moved to the suburbs. And it wouldn't have happened if it weren't for all those roads we were building! The show mentioned those planned urban centers. Disapprovingly, natch.

Still got a bit of Christmas shopping to do. Maybe I'll be able to make a run tomorrow. Will there be crowds? Will I be accosted by aggressive salespeople? Will the temperature make it into the 30s?

Hairy Muffins. Did it look like a broccoli floret growing from the nooks and crannies? Jenia once came home at easter with this loaf of bread he was so proud of from some far off bakery in miami that ships foodstuffs from the motherland, He got it open and it needed a shave. It had 5 o'clock shadow. At least you did not bring home any creatures living in the packaging.

So the holidays have been interesting in retail. i have had some really odd people in my store. The best times are when they are half drunk and feeling good and they drop 4 or 5 hundred dollars on things they would never buy. But they are having fun so they buy. My favorite question when people point at thier face and say do you have anything for this. If i hand them a shopping bag that would be rude so i must press on with questions on what result they desire and thier skin type and thier allergies. It gets tired.
Sometimes thier is that older lady on the prowl that tries to get out of me weather i am straight or not. Weather i may be a good friend to know for hair and makeup and fashion tips or am i someone she would like to take home. I am the only man in the store and my cast of girls that work for me wait for this scenario to come up. We wear radios so you can hear them talking about my new girlfriend. I always make the conversation ambiguous and get them to come out and ask. several days ago i had a lady ask me if i was out? Out where? No we are inside. People are forward.
So far the season has not been so crazy. busy but not crazy. Hope everyone is not waiting to shop on christmas eve? It was most fun when ellexa and deklan came shopping on black friday. They were the center of attention. Ellexa thought she worked there.

Hairy muffins. Do the day spas have a waxing procedure to fix that? And did anyone check the muffins for cracked toenails?

Steve is telling me I have to see the "corn flake" face. Yes, I must.

(There's a dusting of snow on the grass around here -- makes the Christmas lights look good; unfortunately Alane's lighted penguins aren't rated for South Pole climate demands -- the wind has toppled both and split one in half.)