Now we know the key to keeping this country safe from Islamofascist attack: we need to be more like Sweden!

So, let's see... which candidate advocates Sweden-like policy positions?

Vote or Die indeed.

So it was sort of his "Cambodia finger."

Guten tag everyone,
Lastnight Jenia and I were watching The Deadliest Season: Alaskan Snow Crab Fisherman, the #1 deadliest occupation out there. These fisherman work for one season and make upwards of at least $140,000, usually tons more depending on the number of crabs caught (large male), and how large the vessel. Typically, for every crew, one member does not make it back alive. So show interviewed a few chosen fishermen, one in particular was going back to sea for the 3rd time. This season he was eager and back with a vengeance, since last year he lost his index finger at sea. He was prepared now though, he said, because he keeps his finger with him for good. Then, without warning, the fisherman pulls down his shirt and takes out a 3" black index finger with a green rotten nail shoved into his gold chain. Then he gently and ever so lovingly tucks his special knub back into his shirt for safekeeping. It all happened so fast. Jenia laughed, I shit my pants.

We eagerly await a report from Steve, who is no doubt monitoring the early balloting in Palm Beach County.

So, how're your chads hangin'?

Listening to the campaign rhetoric, I start to wonder what Kerry's campaign would sound like if he were running in the 1950s at the height of the Cold War. I can almost hear him explaining that the victory in WWII had been botched -- sure, we knocked off the incompetent Nazis ("I always considered them a threat"), but we failed to win the peace in the East!

Or perhaps he would have taken the opposite angle: asserting that we should have moved pre-emptively against the Axis, instead of outsourcing our Pacific fleet to bottom of an island harbor!

Can a man really win the White House as a Monday-morning-quarterback who so solemnly and deliberately politicizes national security?

Hey, this is America -- all things are possible!

This shouldn't be so devastating, but I am nonetheless saddened: that august chain of quality merchandise outlets "Odd Job" is no more. They're not going away, mind you, but they are changing their name to "Amazing Savings."

The new name is lame. And the old name is packed -- packed! -- with Mastandrea gift lore.

Just took the boys to the park so we could kick around the soccer ball. John Paul seems to have an interest in that lately. On the field was a high school soccer team in the middle of practice. We stayed off to the side. Sometime later a school bus arrived. A team wearing neat blue uniforms marched off and started their warm up.

I hardly paid attention as the game started. As the boys' attention wandered, I started telling them about how the game is played by pointing out the action on the field. Surprisingly, John Paul showed interest, then Joseph did likewise.

I was trying to show how each team was trying to get the ball away from the other so they could kick it into their net. I quickly realized that the game was very lopsided -- the blue team was everywhere the ball was going; the other team... stank.

It wasn't until we took new positions at the other end of the field (the blue team's goal, where all the action was) that I was able to read the jerseys. That was Bronxville. And the hapless slobs who couldn't string two kicks together? That was Tuckahoe.

Figures.

It reminded me of all those awful teen angst comedies, where the preppy jocks come to the game well-groomed and well-drilled but somehow the working class mooks seize the day.

That wasn't about to happen here. We watched for a while. John Paul cheered for the blue team. Mojo fussed. And then we came inside to eat lunch.

I'll leave class warfare to the professional politicians.

We skipped the candidates' debate last night, preferring to get the boys to sleep and get some rest ourselves. I did read some live-blogging before lights-out, reading reports from Bush supporters saying W was kicking ass. I woke up sometime after 2:30 and decided to put on the radio. Top of the hour news reported, of course, that Kerry won the debate. Natch.

So I listened to a few hours of talk radio as I tried to get back to sleep.

Whatever happened to the Art Bell radio show? I used to enjoy spending sleepless nights in the company of alien vistors, U.N. helicopters, and paranormal seers.

So I put on my tinfoil hat recently and pick up a promising new book that set out to prove that which we already know: that 1996 the downing of TWA flight 800 was an act of terrorism.

Halfway through the book I'm mostly satisfied that I'm getting new information -- and also a new way to look at already public information. His theory: a bomb, not a missile. Interesting. Not sure if I buy it -- too many people saw missiles that night. But as I plow ahead in the book, I start to notice sloppy logic. Thrown into discussions of grievous FBI failures are backhand swipes at the Bush administration, attacks only marginally arising from the material he's covering. Then I see Richard Clark's name popping up more and more often, with his self-reported acts of pre-9/11 heroism getting lots of favorable slant. I'm catching some serious vibe that the author wishes we'd left Saddam Hussein alone. This book is falling apart.

I don't read books very often. My attention span normally doesn't allow for it. And now to invest time in one just to be jerked around by some Michael Moore wannabe... That's crap.

My friggin back has been out for the last week and a half, so I took a vacation day today to give my twisted spine some needed rest. I think it's helping. Maybe I need another cup of coffee. That's the best part of staying home -- I can make coffee just the way I like it, as much of it as I want (which usually means too much).

I can also read blogs as much as I want (which also usually means too much). I'm so tempted to get back into politics, but there are so many others doing it so much better. It's a lot of fun just to watch. Watching John Edwards implode the other night was good for the soul -- he reminded me of the insufferable 1L's who got to law school feeling so smug and so smart they thought they could take challenge the old professors on logic and facts. That never went well (even when the profs were insufferable blowhards themselves); nor did it go well for Forrest Gump the other night.

What I really need to do is clear off my desk here at home. Too much computer equipment, music playing gadgets, pens and papers. Gotta find a place to keep all that stuff so I'm not such a slob all the time. I'll work on that this afternoon.

There it was! The only part of the vice presidential debate that matters: John Edwards telling his Jerusalem story, putting on his jury face, exploiting the six children killed in a nearby suicide bombing...

...Alane and I were surprised he didn't start channeling their voices for the audience.

"The dead children, they speak through me."

The man is a ghoul.

And he's getting his ass kicked.