The dream started in an alleyway off a main street. At the end of the alley stood a canned ham, a big one with holes in it from which a man's arms and legs, wearing tights, allowing it to dance around and appear very jolly, attracting hapless tourists to come hither and wham! -- he'd strangle them.

The canned ham, you see, was a mass murderer.

The scene shifted to a diner. Seated at a table amid laughter and conversation was a man with a moustache. He was a trans-sexual. And he was an Elvis impersonator. He was having fun with his friends when his very effeminate, very shy, very gay associate approached him. It was immediately clear that the Elvis-impersonator was the murderer from the canned ham -- and he'd asked his unwitting friend to spend the night in the canned-ham-outfit in order to set him up as a decoy. You see, the murderer's nemesis, a former cop, had just been released from prison on a charge that the Elvis impersonator had fabricated for him. He'd be on the streets seeking revenge. He'd find the canned ham, and it would be the wrong man.

But now that plan was ruined.

"I didn't want to stay in the costume," said the little gay man.

The Elvis impersonator was enraged that his friend was even speaking to him in public -- though a trans-sexual, he didn't want anyone to questions his sexuality. Enraged, he strangled the man on the spot.

Meanwhile, at the end of an urban alleyway, a former cop who'd been framed in imprisoned came upon a giant canned ham that had been left on the ground, empty. No one was in it. And he suspected that something had gone wrong.

Had that dream several years ago, and I'm still trying to figure it out.