In the Encyclopedia Mastandrea, there's an entry for the word "pathetic." It appears right after "panettone" and right before "pizzaiola."

Pathetic: Bending over to put on your underwear after your morning shower, momentarily losing your balance, and then backing your wet ass into the red-hot steam radiator.

I tried to show Alane the grill-marks but she couldn't see very well through her tears of laughter.