Being the excellent wife, I went to Sports Authority at the mall on Christmas Eve at high noon to purchase a body ball for John. Andre recommended this as a pain relief treatment for John's big and oddly placed disc herniation. I was quite happy with myself as I had no trouble finding parking and the check-out line was, considering that it was Christmas Eve, reasonable. I began waiting in line. The line was one where everyone waited on the same line until one of the register people called out, "next customer." As I got to the head of the line, I would be the next customer -- someone line-jumped me. And not just any someone: in a case of divine retribution, a midget cut in front of me. What pray tell would I midget be buying at a sporting good store? Why a basketball, of course.