I'm taking a vacation day today and hope to sit around the house like a bum as much as possible. The boys are outside in the snow -- they were very excited to see the white stuff this morning and made a tremendous commotion getting themselves ready.

That leaves me here drinking coffee, toasting yesterday's Italian bread, and watching my "Christmastime in Vienna" DVD. It features the ever-charming French jazz vocalist Patricia Kaas. She appears with some other guys named Domingo and Fernandez... never heard of 'em. Why they gotta stand so close to her?

Like most of her music, I no speak-a da language. But somehow I just know: whatever she's singing, she's singing to me.

Alane thinks I've gone insane. She doesn't feel threatened, though -- she knew me during the Spring semester of 1985 when I was taking French classes. She remains quite certain that it is impossible for Patricia and I to ever effectively communicate. She has taunted me by giving me Patricia Kaas CDs as gifts.

Her latest CD is called "Sexe Fort." I love the name. Yeah, I know it really means "The Stronger Sex" (I didn't exactly fail that French class). But the first thing to jump into my head is that old Vandals song "Clowns Are Experts."

Clown walks into a bar and says: bartender, give me a tree fort
Bartender says: what's in a tree fort?
Clown says: Playboy books and cigars, hyuh hyuh!

Ah, here's one she's singing in Eng-rish. "Merry Christmas, Baby."

Thanks, babe. Thanks.