Things witnessed this past weekend during Ree and I's trip to Little Moscow:

1. Jenia eat an entire rain forest at an all-you-can-eat salad restaurant called "Sweet Tomatoes".
2. Jenia and I play the loudest game of racqetball game in recorded history...I'm pretty sure you can hear us faintly in Berea, but you probably just mistook it for a 747 flying overhead.
3. A member of the Bloodhound Gang funnel and entire bottle of Jaegermeister, he then followed this impressive feat by throwing up an entire barrel of Jager-vomit. Even funnier was when he threatened to dump it on a guy with a mullet who had been flicking him off all night.
4. There were many exposed breasts at the concert that night, and Jenia recognized it was a perfect photo opportunity. One revolting drunken flasher noticed him aiming his camera phone and responded by giving him the old "lickity split" facial expression for the camera. Broadway Joe, who was standing beside him was delighted by her unprompted display of unfettered raunchiness.
5. The Fatone Family soccer game, in which Joe Sr. and I played goalie...and Aunt Phyllis Fatone was a power forward! Not since Antietam had both sides experienced so many casualties.
6. Steve Fatone put three kites into the upper strata of our atmosphere....one in the shape of a Diet Coke. I imagine Air Traffic Control has determined there is finally a winner in the Cola Wars
7. I bought a used copy of Weekend at Bernies!!!!