As we know the Spumoni syndicate is vacationing up in Connecticut, so while the Kahuna-mobile was unoccupied, I offered to bring it in to make a few more cosmetic changes that Big Vin had dreamed up in his ever-active mind. Needless to say, forcing me to use their brand-new luxury sedan instead of my decade-old rickety turd wasn't exactly a painful chore. So as I happily drive into work ( listening to Hall and Oates "Say It Aint So" on the XM 80s station), I glance down at the floors of the car and notice they bear strong resemblance to the sawdust covered floors of Capital Meats. So I nextel BazzukaJoe to ask him "how the hell do her floors get this dirty without any babies or pets?". His verbatim reply: "She says its because she lives in her car, but in Florida we all live in our car. Ours don't look like that. My only guess is that she has no opposable thumbs and when she eats she just throws it at her face" It's amazing how that man's mind works.

On another interesting sidenote: Mike Gallo just dropped by the store and informed me that last night he had a dream that Tony Soprano asked me to kill Phil Leotardi and I accepted. That in fact, Mike was part of the scheme to provide an alibi for AJ Soprano who the Feds believed had plans to kill Phil. So Mike had to call AJ on his cell and provide a phone record, at the identical moment I was firing the three lethal shots at "Eyebrows" Leotardi, who was exiting a restaurant wearing a tophat, tails and a cane. (Sounds to me like I assasinated Mr. Peanut).

Also I was wondering if anyone could lend a hand, a close friend (public blog we will refain from using his/her name) needs a premium excuse to call out of work. I believe most of the usuals have already been expired... but we of the Macaroni Dish have our PhD.s in this field, so any help would be most appreciated. Reminds me of some funny ones we have used already.
1. Guido---for having gingivitis.
2. Jenia---got punched in the stomach while sparring with his boxing trainer.
3. Frylock---pink eye...about seventeen times. I kinda miss the NSync mania days when I could trade autographs and memorabilia or phonecalls to the managers children for days off.
4. Joe Fatone Sr.---left work because me and BazzukaJoe were over and told his boss, "I'm driving home right now, if you don't hear from me in a half hour to say I got home safe, please call the hospital" Amazing.