I think I owe the world a brief description of my weekend with Broadway Joe. It started in downtown Orlando deep within the bowels of a filthy, decrepit go-go bar named Mako, where there hides a secret VIP room, decorated entirely in marble and oak (it resembled a library one might see in a gothic castle, an amazing contrast to the grime just yards away). What was amazing was the journey one had to embark on to reach this secret chamber. We had to walk through a room full of go-go dancers changing their clothes, and then an entire floor of construction; stepping over circular saws, sawdust, and even gaping holes to get to it. Bizarre. After we experienced an hour in the "Oak Room" as it was referred to, we moved on to the dance club next door named Antigua, where Broadway Joe literally owns the place. ( To give you an idea of his relationship with the staff, the next day he had a pool party attended by all 5 bartenders, 2 of the bouncers and both operation managers). Now comfortably nestled inside Antigua's VIP area, Broadway Joe proceeds to introduce me to everyone in a very unique manner ("this is my cousin Steve, he loves girls with big boobs, so feel free to rub yours against him") I was a bit startled the first time he said it, but learned to appreciate it immensely when nearly everyone of the fifty women he said it to chose to follow his instructions. Now its time for me to make a generalized understatement...Broadway Joe and I drank a lot of alcohol. So what was a surreal experience in its own right becomes even more surreal. I met and exchanged phone numbers with a midget. I discussed American geopolitics with a realtor from Deland. I was lifted 2 feet above the ground and carried around by an Amazon women named "Big Red" (once again thanks to Broadway Joe whispering in her ear "my cousin Steve really enjoys being lifted and carried around by women"). People kept showing me tattoos on concealed areas of their bodies (due to the absurd volume of alcohol Im not sure if this can also be credited to Broadway Joe). I drank a few things that tasted like cleaning agents: Clorox or Tidy Bowl. The drinks had names like Airplane Glue and Gasoline. The Antigua VIP area had a secret bathroom which required an elevator ride, now true it was private...but the toilet didnt flush. Luckily no one took a brunz, but by the end of the nite that bowl was a real brimmer. We stayed till the club's lights came on, and then departed for some craphole 24 hour pizza joint. As we approach the pizzeria, there are no parking spaces or lot to be found, so Broadway Joe pulls his car into the lot of a recently condemned building. This lunatic seriously parks his brand new $80,000 sports car all by itself in a pile of rubble. This pizza place is not a restaurant, there are no seats, so therefore we must take our slices back to the giant pile of pulverized concrete...and eat our slices over the $80,000 sports car. We devoured the pizza, no clue if it was good or bad and returned to Broadway Joe's house, where I spent the next hour playing in his new car....an original K.I.T. from the TV show Knight Rider. And all I could think was.....what better way to end the night then to be sitting in the same seat once occupied by David Hasslehoff's ass?