Most people know in conversation, BazzukaJoe and I have a tendency to bounce from topic to topic in an almost random way (although we would both probably argue its randomness). Its a phenomena my mother refers to as "flight of ideas" and John refers to "stream of consciousness and word-association speaking" and then some like Ree, just believe it to be a rare form of ADD that confines itself to obscure movies and absurd songs. So that said: I was reading Molly's post and all I could think of was Jenia describing to me how he once spotted Rob Lopicola on the bench-press at Golds Gym on Palm Beach Lakes. I could actually see the event occurring right before my eyes...I am now emotionally scarred. But back to the job interview: Duane never gave a detailed job description of his "personal assistant"...so for Peech un'Molly's benefit I will do it for him. So here it is:
1. Gently dab the perspiration from Duane's lower back when he does his lunges.
2. Sit on Duane's shoulders when he does his squats.
3. Sing Michael Bolton songs to help relax Duane when hes attempting a bowel movement.
4. Meet Duane at his home before he goes clubbing downtown to sculpt his hair into a "faux hawk".
5. Make Duane a grill cheese sandwich each day following his Pilates.
6. Wash and wax Duane's Buick Skylark wearing only your sandals.
7. Regrout Duane's bathroom.
8. Regrout Duane's abdomen.
9. Make Duane homemade soup using his sweatpants to flavor the base.
10. Did I mention we just recently changed the title of this position from "Personal Shower Assistant"?