I was thinking about John and his one man war with that old table...and realized its not his fault. Heredity is dictating his actions. Occasionally, when I venture to Spumoni Gardens, the Big Kahuna has a few broken pinwheels in the front yard. He will not surrender to purchasing a few new ones, which only cost about 19 cents a piece, he'd much rather have me search the house for oversize toothpicks, hot glue guns, duct tape...and I swear to God on this one...last week he had my mother looking for chewing gum to use for his repairs. "Fixing" these things is kinda like making a splint for a broken bone...except the bones may one day actually work correctly. Inevitably, once a pinwheel is reassembled by one of us, it will neither stand on its own or spin correctly...the only two purposes a pinwheel serves. I point this out to Big Vin, he pauses and says "before you leave I need you to tape those to the entertainment center, the lamps and the bed posts inside the baby's room. And do it nice". So my point is no matter how crazy we think John is for his monumental waste of time and energy...in the end he will probably find a way to convince himself of the contrary...and if hes anything like my father, we might want to send him a pack of Bubblicious...you know for his toolbox.