I shall refrain from using any names...but I saw something last I needed to share. A good friend of Big Kahuna was admitted into the hospital yesterday for observation, and so I joined Big Vin, Aunt Marie, and Ree on a little visit to Jupiter Medical Center. The patient looks robust and healthy plus he's in great spirits, however there is clearly one problem....he is laying in a semi-upright position in the hospital bed, and somehow his hairpiece has separated itself from its normal resting place atop his head. It actually looked to me like a magic trick. It reminded me a guy I once saw on "Ripleys Believe It or Not" (Back when Jack Palance was host, not that hack Dean Cain) who could levitate dollar bills like an inch or two above a table...(it turns out he did it breathing in a certain way...and they outed him by forcing him to wear a microphone). But back to the levitating toupee. Everytime I spoke to him I stared him straight in the eye, refusing to surrender to my urge to stare and and point...and pull it off and put it on my own head. So of course, as our visit came to a close we boarded the elevator and no one spoke...just four very quiet goofy grins (I was just trying to choose my words carefully before I said them) when finally my mom broke the silence "I know, I know...the wig." And with that the floodgates broke open.
Also wanted mention how earlier yesterday, I had an absolutely absurd debate with the Justinian regarding his deluded belief that he could defeat Broadway Joe in a hypothetical bareknuckle fist-fight. His argument was very weak...aside from having more bottled-up anger and misery, he had no real basis for his argument. I'm going to restate some of the facts I presented:
1. Broadway Joe is at least 8 inches taller and 70 pounds heavier.
2.I hate to bring this up, but Bensonhurst is a bit tougher place to grow up than Valley Stream, LI.
3. You can play him on Playstation's Celebrity Deathmatch.
4. Broadway Joe can take pain, hes broken his collar, his shoulder, he even had a hydraulic spring fire a hole straight through his calf once.
5. I know Justin can point to his tattoos as proof he can take pain..but Broadway Joe has more tattoos...including one on his inside lip.
6. I can probably go on for an hour but I'm going to finish this very simply: a few months ago at a club in NYC, Broadway Joe had a small altercation that ended with him tossing Jason Iler (AJ Soprano) into a wall like a two pound rag-doll (Broadway Joe is an extremely passive and peaceful man but AJ made the mistake of making an offensive comment about his wife). In sum, the Sopranos know not to mess with him..Mr. Justinian you should too. Anyone care to weigh in here, maybe help support Justin's counter-argument?