I mentioned to John I have a theory on the origination of the ancient balloons. I don't believe that vodka was stored in a liquor cabinet at all, but instead a small wooden time portal. While fishing around for the bottle, Uncle Vito actually reached across the time-space continuum and grabbed balloons from Roseanne's 3rd birthday party. Had they finished that bottle of vodka and reached in a second time for some Chivas Regal, I believe he may have pulled out some pastries served at John's baptism. I also would like to reference Alane's hair salon story. About a month ago, Kim and I were having coffee with her mom and stepdad. It was great, we were laughing and discussing music and movies when her stepdad unexpectedly interjected "you know I was 30 years old when I was circumcized". In a room of people known for the volume of their voices, there was silence....uncomfortable silence.....and confusion. The best I could do to empathize, or sympathize was say "I didn't get the chicken pox until I was 17. But getting back to my favorite scene in the Money Pit...." Also, the name Vito Stinky Ballons reminds me of a T.A . worker my dad once knew: Philly Stink Arm Pits. My question is this: how can a balloon be "irregular" ? I don't claim to be a scientist but doesn't air naturally distribute evenly? Is it possible for all the air to go to one end of the balloon and not the other? Did Uncle Vito manage to defy all the known laws of physics twice in one day? First when he crossed the boundaries of time and secondly when he changed the properties of matter ? If his home is a castle, than the man must be a wizard.