It recently occurred to me that there is a Mastandrea trait that has not yet been brought to light. The ability to converse without words. A system of gestures and facial expressions followed by eye contact and a nod is enough to implant the thought into other Mastandreas. Either by infrared or SMS. I have yet to study whether nextels interfere with these transmissions. My problem with this talent is that it is often muddled up and misinterpreted by those not experienced in the art. Many a time I have sat through a conference and been singled out with an inquiring glance. "Do you have a question? Did I say that correctly? Do you need a break?" I was suddenly aware of the many forms of facial motions I partake in on an hourly basis. Consumption of coffee apparently increases the instance exponentially. I am now acutely aware of the power of THE FACE. I had always ignored my mothers references to THE VIN face. That's daddies you know if you touch it
hes gonna have a face or a funge face that was a big one. The face was punishment enough. I wonder if Grandpa Mastandrea was well versed in the face. I have witnessed all 3 brothers utilize this technique. Its an odd trait. It would be an interesting study..

There is another interesting trait whose origin I have yet to discover. You see it would be very hard to know if our grandparents loved to make up their own words or change the words to songs ( I never do that) because they spoke no english. Did they hone this talent in their native tongue? I know that Betty husband Steve on the Fatone side of our lineage had a knack four making up his own terminology or simply stressing the wrong letters in a word to make a point. I have also heard my father call me by more names I've never heard anyone have and make up his own terminology as well to make a point. He once advised not to by the used car we were checking out because it was
"ALL BEN TURPIN" And I actually said "your right" Or he once described a man with a facial expression. Bizarre. If I think I'm sure I can come up with a few I've heard that I can interpret but as to where they were created or by whom I cannot say.
- rode hard and put away wet
-that looks like 4 kids having a cantaloupe fight under a tent
-those are gandolpho mittens worn when handling a hot object
-thats like peter allen
-half cringed cloven oval
-blojinkski
-the aftermath of an elephant grudge match
-im gonna go in there and make prappa
-its like shitting your pants and changing your shirt

Maybe im just tired and my perception is askew. Does anyone else see these most bizarre powers we possess? It must be housed within the massive cranium. I dont know.

Im going to go lay my head on my pillow. Its a king size.