Challenging is a good way to look at this year of change. Wasn't change the topic of the talk you gave in KC years ago? The Change Merchant, right?

I suspect that we all have survived the changes physically but are still catching up spiritually and mentally and for us at least, financially. But like we all repeated earnestly and with sincerity to Vito, "Tomorrow will be better than today and the day after, even better. You can do this. One step at a time. Take a few deep breaths and remember your strengths and challenge your weaknesses." We just have to tell ourselves the same things and work our way through the losses and challenges. One step at a time, one day at a time.

Parenting is a balancing act. What an easy thing to say, right? But what a difficult thing to do: strike a balance between providing physically for your family and physically being there for your family. I do not envy you the task.

As a parent I asked myself what I wanted to be the most different from my childhood and for me that was easy: a good education and the encouragement to achieve success. I think you and Alane are well on the way to providing that for your children.

If I were to envy you, Joe and Roseanne any one thing, I think that it would be the education you were provided. And I can see in yours and Alane's minds, it is a priority for your boys, too. You are to be congratulated on that. Not all parents think that way. A good solid education puts your sons in a position to achieve many things in life that otherwise would be closed off from them.

So while you both may wish that providing physically for your children requires less time apart from them, at least you can take satisfaction in knowing that part of the time apart is well spent.

I am glad I spent the time in Brooklyn getting to know your dad and making a new impression of the person he is, please don't interpret my grousing otherwise. And I know that all three of you did not make the choice to go back home without seriously regarding your father's well-being first.

I know, too, that all those people with whom we had red-tape-tangled interactions had jobs to do, but it didn't seem that very many of them grasped that they were dealing with individuals rather than herd animals with the exception of Sunita who really stuck her neck out professionally to help us. [I especially felt like I was in a livestock kill pen at the DMV -- could your dad truly be a threat to society with a non-driver ID granted on 5 points instead of six? :-) And the Social Security Office blamed your father for their mistake which was so beyond unacceptable that it bordered on disgraceful.]