This morning I decided to retire an old pair of mutandes. Cookie spotted them in the trash and asked me why I was throwing away my underwear.

"Because they're old and they don't fit me right," I said. He nodded, and I should have stopped there, but for good measure I added: "They don't fit over my ochinchi."

He laughed and laughed. As I left the kitchen I heard him say to Alane:

"Daddy has a giant ochinchi!"

Which, of course, is not what I said. I was particularly concerned that he might decide to share this "insight" at school -- I pictured receiving alarmed (or just plain curious) calls from school.

I should have known better: never voluntarily discard your boxer shorts. And if you do, always have a good cover story ready.