Preparedness is indeed the key to surviving nature's fury, and Airport Guy is indeed dedicated to his work. So when is Joe-maha going to make Orange Soup an official component of disaster preparedness? Has the Red Cross ever thought to advise people to make a roast beef in advance of a tornado? Or meatballs? If not, why not?

Hey Shteef, as soon as you get back online please post Marie's recipe for Orange Soup so Nebraska Joe can insert it into his lesson plan. There are legions of desperate retirees in Boca Raton who need to know how to fashion a makeshift chafing dish and steam table using soda cans, pool water and sterno. (Hmmm, maybe when we've complete the Encyclopedia Mastandrea and Mastandrea University, we can move on to the Mastandrea Survival Guide: helpful tips for hunkering, camping, and last-minute catering.)

I knew Bazzukajoe was in danger when he told me he couldn't board up his door as much as he would have liked because needed to leave a large enough opening for his head to get back in.

That's way too much exposure.

Jessica's getting a crash helmet for Christmas.