This year, my mother was not given the 4th of July off so I decided to make an early trip to Spumoni Gardens South to see if the Big Kahuna felt like getting out of the house. As we all know this is a rhetorical quesion for him. Unbeknownst to me, he had already memorized the Sunday and Monday newspapers from cover to cover and was eager to check out the advertised items at JC Penney. What might those items be?

"You know JC Penney is selling Riddell sneakers. Ridell is what they use in the NFL, I think I need those."

Indeed the Kahuna purchased a pair of grey and orange Riddells and a pair of grey and blue New Balance sneakers. Apparently he's going to be kicking a few field goals sometime soon. I believe that moves the official sneaker count to 23 pairs.

Also yesterday poor Jessica got a bit of food poisoning and spent her day in the ER. She's home and recovering well today. However, yesterday her skin color was the same as Telly from Sesame Street and the texture was similar to a Delmonico steak. Feel better, Jess.