Wow. I know your feeling alane. I feel surrounded by misfits every day of my life. This afternoon i watched a guy with a convertible top drive with it half open and inflating like a parachute.

When I worked in Macys early one morning the cleaning guys sucked up the cable connecting the stanchons that create the space you stand in on line. He wound it up in the waxing machine so fast it caught a chair leg and yanked it straight at him. He ducked and it smashed an etagere and a case in cosmetics. He walked away with it spinning unmanned. The rope burned up from spinning and caught fire under it. That's the kind of A-list people Macys hired. Cannot understand the chapter 11 thing.

Anyway...

The toilet clogged at work today and it reminded me of something that happened at Spumoni South a while back. We first moved there we didn't know a whole lot about septic systems. Apparently they get clogged and need to be cleaned out every so often. I came home from work to a funny shtink in the place. Upon inquiring the mother infomed me that we had a backup and the guys would be coming on Monday to fix it. A back up? The shower and tubs looked like a pudding pie. It was even bubbling up as we watched. Nasty. Badwater. So I go out front to the yard and fresh air. I know there is an exit pipe somewhere. How else would they clean it out? I found it hidden at the base of the palm tee under the front window. I turned the cap and slowly removed it. What happened next lookek like a coffee pot percolating as the pipe emitted a creeping stream of wet paper and meatballs all over the lawn. I quickly tried to replace the cap but it was putting your thumb over a running hose. Not happening. I decide to head inside and break the worse news when I heard my mom celebrating that "it was going down!" I told my dad what just happened and all he said was, "Why would you do that? The whole block is gonna know." Little did we know it would draw them like flies, not repel them. I shined a flashlight out the window and showed Lena. She said "What's with all the meatballs on the lawn?"

"That's probably what it is," I said. "See that pipe? Its the septic pipe." We now refer to it as THE MEAT PIPE Well it was too late to do anything so I left the pipe open all night. What a sight in the morning...