Okay, I'm still waiting to find out how the Sopranos ends. Still waiting... Still waiting.

Oh, and as for stink signatures, yes my memory is embroidered with them. Grandma Rose's kitchen had a very distinct odor of broccoli and coffee grounds; her basement smelled like stale wine and plumber-putty; the B35 bus on Church Avenue had the subtle fragrance of foot disease and mop-water.

Smelling any of that now is like stepping into a transporter.

So Jessica and I went to a wedding last night and as we walk into the reception hall there was an ambient scent. Could have been incense, could be moth balls, whatever. All i know is that the scent immediately put me in a different place. I found myself in the Lanyo House on 38th street standing in front of the dueling organs. I could see them. It was rather strange and i wanted to know the scent but that was a fruitless quest. Has that ever happened to you John? Like Aunt Rosina's house most definitely is tomato sauce but with a little something more.

Something I noticed in Los Angeles, lots of dogs. It was a social excursion for thier male owners. And that sall thier was, it intrigued me as to whether the dogs were gay as well or in the very least male.

Well i'll have to go now, Young Frankenstein is on. One of the greatest movies ever made.... What hump?

A classic afternoon ballgame on television today, with the Mets playing the Tigers as part of the absurd inter-league play. Hey, at least it got the game onto TV in this area, so I got comfy on the couch, got some eats and rinks and settled in. A few innings later, I was dozing off, half-hearing the game, half-asleep, waking up in a pitching change, finally coming fully awake late in the game as the Mets threatened to catch up to the Tigers' big lead.

But in the end, the Tigers won 8-7. Feh.

Maybe I'll wander outside and sit in the evening air. More wine!

Working from home can make one somewhat less aware of their own personal hygiene, I'm afarid I must admit. Some mornings I drink my coffee, get the boys dressed and fed, take them to school, and then get to work -- without the once-obligatory shave and shower.

Hey, who'll know?

Well, I for one do eventually notice: the stink, the skin sheen, the steady advance of funk. And sometimes Alane will call from her office and ask, "Did you make the boys take showers this morning before school?" and I'll think, "showers?" I'm lucky I remember to scrape the previous night's chocolate pudding off their chins before sending them into the school building.

But you can't work from home all the time -- had to go to the main office this week which meant another cattle-ride into LGA. Repeat after me: American Airlines is blowjhinksi. Last night's 8:15 to Hopkins was delayed about two hours... Just like last time... And the time before that. Our latest circumstance? No pilot. Seems to fool chose to get to his assignment by flying on an AA flight -- so he was bound to be hopelessly late.

The worst part is they don't tell you anything -- you get to the airport and the screens say ON TIME. You go to the gate and you board. How is it that it isn't until everyone is seated and buckled in that someone finally notices that empty seat up front?

So I spent an extra two hours pacing the third-world corridors of LGA, wishing I was about a half-mile away at Shea watching the ballgame (because there's no way to watch the ballgame amidst the grime of the A-gates of LGA).

Anyway, now that I'm back I have to get the pics and vids off the camera from last week's Cub Scout field trip. First stop on that multi-point bus tour was the "Earth Crack" somewhere near Sandusky. A cave. We had a guided tour. I think I was more interested by the Civil War gravestones in the little cemetery across the way from the site -- I took Cookie through and we looked at the names and the dates. Then, back on the bus and on to a science museum in Toledo. And after that, hot dogs at Toledo's Tony Packo's. Julie and her kids joined us for that -- we gotta get her posting to this blog.

I used to change diapers for a living, a few kids would eat the their own feces. It's a dirty world out there, really. It's funny too, because I bet the guys you know that are gross have these few rules that they live by that don't match their behavior. For example: The guy that has over excessive wax build up oozing out of his ear will have a thrombosis if you accidentally trek dirt onto the floor of his car.
OOh, Joe, I'm glad you mentioned L.A., when I'm bored at work, I stroll down 'amnesia lane' and think about all the crazy antics that happened in that town. I like how we frequented a tiny convenience stored called the Pink Dot that had a VW bug outside with propellers on top. One thing that was funny was that everywhere we went we owned the place, we got lots of freebies this trip. Free Bull rides, free pictures. (What else?) I LOVE THAT!! When I was in London, every day at 5pm we would find ourselves in a McDonald's because they give away free tea at teatime. I'm not a cheapskate, but things like this make me so happy. What else??

There is a certain degree of stink that can be occasionaly rather comforting. Oddly enough the aroma of a good fart can sometimes be relaxing. That ,however, lasts but a few moments unless you unwittingly crap your pants,as broadway once did in S.I. so long ago, then you have crossed over the line. A good dump and ones own stink can very often bring comfort and relaxation, but that is over when you leave the room, Personal Aromatherapy is not something to share. I think johnny cat like to mark his territory in that manner but once again it is contained.

Tom i am so with you on this point.
I will admit Ellexa does not make it easy to maintain the cleanliness of our home but it in no way efffects the way we maintain our personal hygiene. I work in a place that promotes great fragrances so you would think that i would never encounter such offensive odors. You would be wrong. People seem to think that spraying a little Vera Wang on you can cover a rough night of binge drinking or maybe a shot of POLO BLUE would hide the fact that you have been landscaping for the last 8hrs. No sir that does not work. I especially love those that will take a shower and put back on the stink ass clothes they were sweating in the previous day. How does that help? Ahhhh yes i am nice and clean.......... i think ill cover myself with ass odor.

I have never been able to understand the kid in class that is so greasy he looks like a glazed Krispy Kreme. I sat behind a kid in chemistry and would count the clusters of dandruff in his hair. Somehow he thought slapping a little water and a comb through equaled clean. NO NO NO. I remember in Saint Catherines when i was in the 3rd grade i had a teacher, Miss Freire. She made an announcement that today we were going to address an issue effectin us all.Personal Hygiene. The class immediately knew this meant the kid in the back row that always had yellow pit stains in his white shirt and unkempt hair as well as food normally hanging on to several teeth and quite visible in conversation. I remember thinking, wow i wonder what thier couches smell like.

I ask you this. When the stink and grime is visible to the naked eye and pungent to the nose what kind of disgusting carnage is hidden by thier clothing. What does thier home smell like? Hopefully they do not have any animals because oen can only imagine what that would be like.
I agree Tom there is nothing like a hot shower to remove the stink of a rough day and start a new. I shower twice a day. Once to begin the day and once to wash away the many fragances and such i encounter.
I go to great lenths to make sure my family is supplied with adequate fragrances and encourage them to share.
As for the nose picking.........there is a time and a place.
Wow Tom you pushed button. I know steve has had a few stinkcounters in his day......

Well, it's been quite a while since I last posted, hasn't it?

In my life, I like to think I maintain a clean lifestyle. I shower at least once a day; I brush my teeth everyday; I wash my hands after I use the bathroom...But I guess these are things that aren't exactly valued in the worlds of other teenagers.

When I'm not clean, I can feel it. I know when I'm greasy and grimy, and I hate the feeling of it. If I don't wash my body, I'm not in a very good mood. One of my friends, though, hasn't really found the wonders of bathing everyday and keeping fresh. He has hair that just comes down enough to cover his forehead (Which means it's pretty long, considering the size of his cranium). His locks of brown are always greasy, and a single scrubbing shows one hell of a difference. His skin is extra oily from the excess of body oils that are caked on there. He truly disgusts me.

This made me think a little bit. What is the reason I don't have many friends who have so much body fat that they create their own little solar system of tiny animals and tissue boxes? Is it because I don't want our little dog Sprazzo getting sucked into a gravitational pull? Is it because I fear getting hit in the face by a chipmunk? I don't think so. I think it's because I value personal hygiene above most other daily rituals. In my mind, if you're not taking care of your body, I'm not completely sure I want to hang out with you. Shouldn't the same idea apply to this situation?

Well, I've talked to our soap-deprived friend about it. I have told him that it's not just me who realizes this, but many of us bystanders to this overwhelming phenomenon of stench. I tried to enlighten him; I tried to help him cross over the line that divides those who are ignorant to the daily cleaning process and those who enjoy that warm waterfall that is a nice shower. I thought he got the point, and I rejoiced. He showered that night...and then not a single time in the next three weeks. Believe me, I kept track.

He sits next to me in our band class. While I'm ignoring his filthy body, I can see a boy named Steve who is a year older than me sitting three chairs over. Every single band period, he tries to clean out his nose with a thumb and a forefinger. He sticks his thumb in his nose, and I can only imagine how angry his brain must get when it is stabbed repeatedly by a fingernail. If he's not playing his alto saxophone, he is digging through a goldmine of snot and boogers. Does he ever find anything? Why, of course! He doesn't do the 'pick-and-flick' or the 'roll,' and he doesn't even eat it. He simply rubs the findings on his bottom lip. I kid you not, folks. He simply rubs it across his lip until he is satisfied with the job he has done.

Don't get me wrong, guys. I have nothing against the occasional nose rub, and I will be the first to admit that I pick my nose from time to time. When I do, though, I make sure I get to a tissue as soon as I can and I will always wash my hands afterward. With our nose picker, however, it's not just an occasional thing. In band class, we have to find ways to amuse ourselves. One of the ways we have found is to bet on how many times any one of his fingers will enter his nasal cavity. The highest number he has reached in a single period? 16. The lowest? 9.

It's disgusting. The thought of being greasy, or constantly having a finger in my nose really makes me want to kick a baby and curb stomp a puppy. It's something that grinds my gears more than the phrase 'grinds my gears.' How do these people deal with it?

Have you tried feminine hygiene pads in your clothes?
How about those salt block?
Actually.....there is a natural product called a Gobi Stick.

You all know how I'm a health nut, I've been this way since I was in short pants. Recently I have been truly sticking to this health conscious lifestyle. I feel wonderful, there's no doubt, but I came into one slight pickle... For years I have read that you shouldn't put anything on your skin that you can't put in your mouth, but still proceeded to spray perfumes, put on sunscreen, and wear fancy lotions. I was able to avoid these products by spraying perfume on my clothes, and using lotions made of oatmeal, but what about DEODORANT? I'm active so, using an organic fruity essence roll-on stick still won't keep me from being "schwetty from the roller boogie". I would just be moist with the aroma of mung and rotten apricot.
Any suggestions? Please, not Locatelli or Pecorino Romano...

Hello ohio. I loved slip and slide. Greatest thing ever. In staten island we did not quite have the space for it so it went from retaining wall to retaining wall. You couldn't get a good start and that end was brutal. It was still fun. Almost as much fun as broadway's resort at his house.
So no one has brought up Los Angeles. It was quite a trip. Thank you Marlena. It was 2 days of non stop stuff. As you can see see Merle rode the bull. Suzy rode as well and she did NOT get the horns. We saw the show live.We met all the dancers. We ate in a place called Ketchup. We saw the Bruno Oilyholie in his speedo. We saw some of the worst impersonators ever. And they demanded a tip to take a photo. Stunning. We drove around hollywood and beverly hills for an entire day and experienced quite a culture of odd people. I found my favorite star on the walk. We had a pretty cool hotel suite. We even had joey's car to drive around. We went
to a rare book store that only sold first editions and signed copies. This place was amazing. He had rare versions of books the authors had written in or sketched pictures. Unbelievable. His prices ranged from $5,000-$250,000 for certain books.
So we left empty handed but fascinated none the less. Merle and Suzy met thier favorite cowboy boot salesman. It was a trip.