I can't sleep. I keep replaying where I was a year ago. It was a very difficult and long night. In those 24 hours....my siblings and mom had to confront some difficult realities that I still ponder. So many things occurred and so many things were discussed. I really never felt alone. I know dad had enough. Enough of many things. We didn't speak much in those last few days. We made faces at everything so I know he was still that strong minded opinionated guy.  I talked and wrote on a grease board. He nodded, mouthed words and made faces. Seemed normal but it was actually a heated discussion at times. He always worried about us. I was so upset and angry with how the doctor had spoke to him one day. Like he was feeble and unaware. ...I went home after my mom got there. I cried the whole ride home. I was in my driveway and he made mom call me to make sure I was ok. He smiled and tried to talk. He said....I know...its ok....I'm ok....he was worried about me. about me. I miss him everyday but right now I just need to make it through today. I know dad.....I know its ok and I know your ok........