Because there's no such thing as too much cheese. Unrolling the braciole of consciousness; shaping the meatball of life. Because everything is funny; you just need to view it from the proper angle. Good for cats. Made in Poland. Because everything is like a hat. You know how those gorillas can be... Very unforgiving.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Ah, so it took me half a day to figure out my password, but indeed I have returned to place my grimy little fingerprint upon the Mastandrea Dish. Its been months, so there is a lot to talk about: a new President who prefers Putinomics to Reaganomics, Pineapple Festivals that star Morris Day and The Time, Vegetarian Iron Chef Shteef Kenichi, Frylock and Jenia's Search for Gabuzzelle....lets begin with a brief analysis of Sfingi's dream.

Biblically, the donkey is an ass: so what you actually observed was an ass-wang. A word that like attenzu is new to the English language, but which I believe should be immediatally added to the Encyclopedia Mastandrea. If I had to examine further into the psyche, I think we can all agree the brown mud represents fecal matter. Digestion, in particular bowel movements are an extremely common Mastandrea preoccupation, so its little surprise it clouds your subconscious mind. As for the Germanic suggestiveness of the word "attenzu", I would credit the buried ancestral Lanyo-ness that only returns during the deepest stages of REM...(you can go ahead and hum "Stand" or "Crush With Eyeliner" here, I just did.) Anyway, I had a long and elaborate dream this morning, that I will detail another day...but all day I keep remembering being in this stairwell where a huge crowd of people were gambling and playing a game where food was thrown at a type of dart board. Now what struck me was, loudly playing in the background was an awesome techno version of "Food, Glorious Food" (which I believe is from Oliver Twist) which prompted me to turn to my mother and say "Cousin John would love this song..." To which she replied: "because its stupid?" Even in dreams some things stay consistent. Oh by the way, Jennie The Mute believes your dream is a thinly veiled reaction to the Democratic takeover. The leaders and followers representing the flaccid and erect "members" of the Dem party/donkey. I think this interpretation can certainly be explored further, but I believe it best to allow her to do this herself.

OK, so brief thoughts the new President-elect. Nicely won campaign and best of luck in the White House. May I suggest vetting Kim Jong Il for Secretary of Treasury?

Recently, I went to Jensen Beach to check out the famous Pineapple Festival with Jenia, Merle and Silent Jenny. The entire ride we could not resist the temptation to impersonate Vito Caravella Sr., by repeatedly saying to one another "this guy's a real pineapple!" At the fair I realized that the only people who attend the Pineapple Festival were women who resembled Amy Winehouse and men who looked like roadies for ZZ Topp. But the best part is we indeed go to witness Morris Day and the Time perform "Jungle Love" live. Not the best live show I've ever seen, but certainly not the worst (that remains Hole). I have some superb live footage o not only Morriss rockin, but some nearby observers scorning me. Ah, how digital cameras have changed how we capture our memories.

Silent Jenny's vengeful digestive system has recently elected to protest absorbing meats, so in solidarity I have gladly opted to shift our daily dinners to a more veggie-centric menu. So now dinner each day is more of a Iron Chef challenge to find new and innovative ways to prepare produce. Its the opening sequence when the altar rises from thefloor and the announcer says "the secret ingredient is BROCCOLI RABE!!!" Your opponent today is Iron Chef Shteef Kenichi! Its actually been really fun...plus the roughage give you more time to read on the bowl.

Speaking of cooking, Jenia and I are in search of a gabuzzelle to begin a new Mastandrea holiday tradition...the Thanksgiving Gabuzzelle. We have found recipes online but we have yet to find place we can purchase one. We have decided barbecuing is better than boiling and would love to start this tradition this coming week. Any suggestions?

By the way, Joe I dont think the biker believed you were either costume hero or villain, he believed you were on your way to the ER to have the 100 pound colossalhead separated from the faded blue thing that was cutting off the circulation past your neck.