Hello my wonderful family. I had a sensational yoga practice today, so perhaps my third eye chakra was more observant than usual. I went to Wal-mart, that evil jerk empire that it is,(serves me right)to bring back the most unhealthy package of English Muffins anyone has ever laid their eyes on. Lastnight I bought these muffins to make little pizzas with my cousin, who babysat with me. I opened the bag and each one had black hair growing, some contained a little green 'algae', it was disastrous. So we ended up eating Corn Flakes at Janine's house. (How satisfying)
Anyway, I get on the long return line, the guy behind me is talking about the ins and outs of some football game, and how the game would've gone more smoothly if another pass was executed, and so forth. It was boring as hell, and never ended. I thought about interjecting to tell him about that time I should have passed on my deep diaphragmatic belly breath 3/4 into my Soaring Eagle Pose, but in the end...mum's the word, I guess.
I was psyched out when a uniformed employee of indetermined cultural origin, named Farina, asked me to step down to another cash register. When I was called, I gently put the clear, moist bag of muffins on the table. Before I could explain anything, the woman whose fashionable hair was in the shape of a spider told me to not say a word, she was going to lunch in a few minutes. Because I couldn't understand her Jamlando vernacular, I opened the bag, and she made it clear to me she didn't want me to do that. Unpleased by her unprofessional manner of customer service, I took my change. Muttered the words "Corn Flakes," in a soft but comprehensive voice, and walked to my car.