Because there's no such thing as too much cheese. Unrolling the braciole of consciousness; shaping the meatball of life. Because everything is funny; you just need to view it from the proper angle. Good for cats. Made in Poland. Because everything is like a hat. You know how those gorillas can be... Very unforgiving.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Salsa lessons? Sounds like fun! I instructed in Baltimore two weeks ago. I hadn't been there since 2001 and their Little Italy is being squeezed like Little Italy in NYC. If you're near the Inner Harbor I recomend the calamari and linguine at Delasio's

Since Ellie and I are the only bloggers to get this from Terry and Andy in Little Italy in NYC I thought I'd share it. Males will need to reverse a gender reference in number 36


40 common things in the life of an Italian Child:

01.You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.
02.You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich."
03.Your family dog understood Italian.
04. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting yourgrandparents and extended family.
05. You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 squarefeet of yard during a family cookout.
06.You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals aday, not seven.
07.You thought killing the pig each year and having salami, capacollo,pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was absolutely normal.
08.You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday.
09.You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and thatthe price of everything was negotiable through haggling.
10.You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
11.You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.
12.You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
13.Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.
14.You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.
15.You thought that everyone made their own tomato sauce.
16.You've never had anything less than a 7 course meal on Christmas, and Easter for that matter.
17.You ate your salad with main course.
18.You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.
19. Your were beaten at least once with a wooden spoonor and a broom.
20.You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.
21.You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.
22.You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.
23.All of your uncles fought in a World War.
24.You have at least six male relatives named Mike, Joe, Tony,or Angelo
25.You have relatives who aren't really your relatives..
26.You have relatives you don't speak to.
27.You drank wine before you were a teenager.
28.You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather and the Sopranos.
29.You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirtthat didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
30.Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic.Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.
31.You thought that talking loud was normal.
32.You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella were common at allweddings.
33.You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
34.Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matterwhat their age.
35.There was a crucifix in every room of the house
36.You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (oh,and he has to be Italian)
37.You called pasta "macaroni".
38.You dreaded taking out your lunch at school
39. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup ofcoffee over Zia's house.
40.Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident wasattributed to the fact that you didn't eat something.

We need to add "Steve to number 24. We still abide by number 31. And number 9? I hear you might not want to suit shop with a couple of guys we know.