Cats are smart, in fact cats are really smart. I'm not sure if I ever described on the blog my last cat-sitting experience. Back in June, BazzukaJoe and Jess vacationed in Sanibel Island, and I volunteered to watch over their beloved housecat, Gracie. Overall, shes an excellent pet and sitting for her was a pleasurable and effortless task...until the final day when I left a apple scented candle burning on my dresser and well ....I accidentally set her on fire. Well, I would argue the case, that she set herself on fire, (after all I didn't hold her over the flame, she chose to step over it) but it did occur under my care, so I am forced to take responsibility for the unfortunate mishap. Now there were no actual burns to her skin, just a singed tuft of hair on her underbelly, and she seemed perfectly fine afterwards... not holding any grudges against me....or so I believed.

Well, this Monday I once again volunteered to be Gracie's catsitter while BazzukaJoe and Jess sojourned to Buffalo. On Monday night, she vanished under my bed and didn't resurface...worrying me on Tuesday morning when I couldn't find her. So without a choice I had to leave for work with her whereabouts still unknown. I returned at 6 pm. and called her name, searched the house and found nothing....except a large turd in the center of my living room rug. I have never known this cat to not use her litterbox...it was almost like a taunt... I shit on your carpet and theres nothing you can do about it. The turd actually eased my concerns that she had somehow escaped my house...but I still couldn't find her. So I went to bed about midnight, when lo and behold the cat emerges.....only now that shes slept for 20 hours, shes wailing at top volume and determined for me to play with her. The longer I deliberately ignore her, the louder and more persistent she becomes until like a lunatic I begin speaking to the cat as if shes human, trying to reason with her. "Listen, Gracie...if I play with you, you have to promise me, you'll go back to sleep." To which she replied "Reeeerow!" So I pet her and said "You are a such good girl", so I played with her five minutes, shut the lights and returned to bed. The bitch lied. She ran around the house, bumping into every piece of furniture I own, and meowing at jet-plane decibels for seven straight hours...therefore I never did get to sleep last night, and I am seriously dragging ass at work today. In sum, we should all sincerely hope last night completes her revenge for the candle incident....because if I find another turd when I return home tonite...tomorows blog will describe in great detail how I applied the figure four leg lock on a cat.