Because there's no such thing as too much cheese. Unrolling the braciole of consciousness; shaping the meatball of life. Because everything is funny; you just need to view it from the proper angle. Good for cats. Made in Poland. Because everything is like a hat. You know how those gorillas can be... Very unforgiving.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...or walk around with their yodel hanging out, but regardless I am not the only member of the Mastandrea clan who either misses calls or has a crapp-ass cellphone. In fact, I would argue my welfare phone is the only one who's pricetag almost excuses its shitty service. Old Silent J has a hand held laptop she talks on that should be able to direct the shuttle for landing, and yet it takes me on average about 40 calls before I reach her, and Mr. Bazzuka is sniffing way too much nailpolish in the Sephora stock-room if he believes I am harder to reach than he. I had a customer with the last name Colonica today, I kind of think it sounds like a musical instrument you can play with your ass. I also wanted to mention this weekend not only did we play Balderdash, we did so in very, very bad sweaters. The best part of a bad sweater party is the size fitment, I believe mine was a childrens small and Ree's must have been an adult jumbo.
Important news: after two years of toying with me, I have signed a peace treaty with the USPS. They changed my mailbox, and delivery has been spot-on ever since. In acyuality it took Silent J's arrival into my abode for me to take more assertive action, it took some calls, visits and a little arm twisting, but no more Christmas cards returned to sender with WTF scribbled at the top. In celebration I'm going to send out Christmas cards myself this year...and at the top of each envelope I'm going to scribble WTF...so you all feel more comfortable.
So the best Christmas song to sing along to is the final refrain of Andy Williams "Its The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (and I know your all going to accuse me of an un-natural fondness for Andy Williams), when he really tears it down "...its the most wonderful time OF THE YEAR!!! Damn, that songs good. And the final moments of Auld Lang Syne when Bobby Darren wishes everyone "Have a Merry Christmas everybody and Happy New Year". Anyway, I'm gonna get running here, I have a few phone cellphone calls coming in that Im going to ignore.
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