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Pecorino Crime Family
Steve "Winged Foot" - Soldier in the Orlando contingent. First turned to a life of crime when, as a youth, he made a cameo appearance in a Megadeath video; upon returning to the dressing area he accidentally opened the door on a fully naked Barbara Streisand. After a lengthy hospitalization, followed by extensive therapy, "Winged Foot" still has violent nightmares, and only recently began to eat broccoli again
Joe "Head of It All" - Soldier in the Jupiter contingent. Once bribed an FBI agent to redact "shaves chest hair" from his official dossier. Operates a racket in West Virginia which extorts money from strip mining concerns - an idea which struck him while golfing at a nearby driving range. His headis large, but not as large as it used to be
John "Consigliere" - Passed the bar exam, but probably couldn't find a courthouse if he had to. Professional aspiration is to attend a bedside arraignment, preferrably not his own. Just wants to be able to lean over and mouth the words "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE CHARGES? DO YOU!?" Eats cheese before it's ready.
Vito "Immobiliere" - Capo-regime of the Brooklyn contingent. Runs a racket out of the Newark docks smuggling cheap electronic games into the country. Taunts his adversaries with sarcasm. Once responded in open court to a prosecutor's allegations by waving his hand aside and muttering, "Agh, your ass." An impressed jury acquitted him of all charges. Distinguishing characteristic: never wears socks or shoes but always manages to look like he does.
Joe "The Quiet One" - Capo-regime of the Orlando contingent. This individual is a master of disguise, so always be alert to distinguishing characteristics. The mustache is a tattoo. The legs are prostheses. And left uncombed, the hair on his back forms an uncanny portrait of Liv Tyler. Often taunts his victims by promising them their freedom if they can locate three olive pits strategically hidden on his person. Pleading for swift death is of no use with this hardened criminal.
Steve "Coyote Legs" - Soldier in the Jupiter contingent. Five-time winner of the Xenia, OH disco-dancing contest (he'd win even if the judges hadn't been bribed). Operates a soppressata smuggling ring which reports to a flamboyant associate in a tastefully-appointed SoHo loft. "Coyote Legs" refuses to personally touch the contraband. Is fond of blurting out, "Hey, watch where you point that thing" even when no one else is around.
Vincent "Big Kahuna" (not pictured) - Capo-regime of the Jupiter contingent. Though in semi-retirement, "Big Kahuna" remains armed and very dangerous. Walks with a .45 caliber cane. While in San Quentin he once shanked another prisoner with a sharpened turkey bone. Often challenges his adversaries to a cooking contest. Throws FBI strategy into complete disarray by inviting agents to his house for coffee and key lime pie.