1 Steak Sandwich
2 Pork Loin Sandwiches
1 Huge Stuffed Potato
1 Corn On The Cob
1 Giant Turkey Leg (which bears great resemblance to the club used by Captain Caveman)
5 Fresh Lemonades
1 Fried Twinkie
1 Plate Fried Oreos
1 Ice Cream Sundae
and when we returned to Spumoni South, he still had room for 2 heaping bowls of macaroni. This list may actually be incomplete, it was only what I witnessed. Of course, the other big question is actually what sort of torture did he inflict on my mothers bathroom afterwards.

My brother-in-law Jenia is simply a dangerous man when the Fair comes to South Florida...I consider him more of a Fair Food Warrior, like he should wear a knights helmet...and instead of a sword just an oversized fork at his side. Like Bazzuka Joe I also witnessed the Tattoo-Headed father...but more importantly the twin scowls that it produced from the Brothers Mastandrea. Jenia and I also witnessed an older man wearing a spandex shirt and jeans so tight that if he farted, he would have showered the Fairgrounds with bits of dungaree. This guy was struggling to walk. Jenia and I also chose to not bow down to those ardent fascist photographers who demand you smile at them as you walk through the entranceway...he and I stared at them in furious anger until they conceded to our demands to disappear.

So lets see what else is new? Spumoni Gardens is having a yard sale tomorrow, so I would be prepared for some wildly amusing tales. Last time, I watched my father refuse to sell an antique clock to some schmuck trying to chew him down on the one dollar because in his words "It would be worth more than a dollar for me to let that asshole watch me break it into a million pieces with a hammer". The man had a very valid point. Well, I apologize for the extended absence, its been really busy on my end...but the good news is there is no lawsuit at the Jupiter Business Park. Frylock fought off the forces of corporate greed (or was it just stupidity) with a little help from Dr. Sfingi and a pricey attorney. I will be reporting more from the western front of the Spumoni Yard Sale tomorrow. But before I go does anyone else think Wolf Blitzer should be stripped of his name after that Cheney interview a few days ago? The man is a well paid reporter, and sometimes you have to ask uncomfortable, risky and in this case a stupid question...but be remain a man for God's sake. Cheney got mad at the question and it looked like the petrified Blitzer peed right in his pants. I think he should rename himself Kitty Peashooter.