I'm always a little uncomfortable discussing the little priviliges my family and I enjoy having a celebrity family member because I feel like a loudmouth braggart...but on this particular occasion I feel an obligation to publicly give Broadway Joe the love and respect he deserves for Saturday night's charity party. I think I can speak for everyone in my family, when I say it makes me unbelievably proud to have a cousin who represents the greatest celebrity of all...the one who shows his greatest acts of love and human kindness when the TV cameras are off and the paparazzi are a million miles away...and oh yeah, Holy Shit can he throw a friggin party.
Alright so with that I'll give you a basic rundown of a Broadway Joe party, start with a huge MGM Studios Soundstage, add a dance floor, a concert stage, lighting rigs, fifty tables, three open bars, and a metric ton of chicken marsala. Add Wayne Brady, DJ Ice, an impromptu live set by Debbie Gibson, followed by a live set by Joey "Solo Like Justin" Fatone, and then a live set by Janine Fatone...all backed by an excellent house band out of South Carolina. All were the opening act for a full concert by Boyz to Men. These were the most normal things that I can recall seeing. Now for the fun stuff: a list of unusual sights:
1. Big Vin once again getting kissed on the mouth by a complete stranger, only this young lady also gave him a winning raffle ticket....well and possibly a fever sore.
2. Joey Fatone singing back-up for Debbie Gibson...well for one night only.
3. A pair of male fashionistas overly anxious to join Vin in the rest room.
4. My Uncle Joe suffering post traumatic stress syndrome , after having to kiss a woman with a hairlip.
5. A couple neatly and discreetly filling every glass and bowl at their table with vomit...inspiring my Uncle Joe to tell them "wow, your table has an awful lot of caca".
6. Fireman Pete dropping an explosive mehtane bomb from his ass on the dancefloor....before returning to his table to fill up those empty glasses with yak.
7. A member of Boyz to Men slow dancing with my Aunt Phyllis to the song "Mama"...we all assume he must be exhibiting the Sicilian genes regarding skin tone.
This list can probably go on and on.
I also wanted to briefly mention something I saw the Friday night before Joe's party. For openers I found myself wandering the downtown bar scene with a coupla Maryland college girls Id never met before...courtesy of my sisters ex-boss who offered them with my cell number. So out of curiosity and desire for a little fun I met the girls...and drank alot..... and watched a small Spanish man have a fistfight with a pale foreign Hot Dog Vendor. Doesn't everybody LOVE the Hot Dog Vendor? Especcially when youre starving at 4am and hes still happily serving. Who hits the Hot Dog Vendor? Isn't that like hitting a priest? Scariest part was when one of my inebriated female cohorts tried to referee the fight and nearly got an uppercut. A little while later she also tried to stop a stupendously drunk man from wrestling a chalk restaurant sign...she gave him a flying butt block to which he responded by putting her in an abdominal stretch... even later she helped a rotund puking Spanish woman who was too drunk to walk. She was drunk...but she was still civic minded. However all her Good Samaritan acts were almost for naught when she tried to steal a few traffic signs and a an aware parking attendant threatened to arrest. But anyway more about that another day...its time for me to leave.
One other thing we have to link the video footage of Three Mastandreas in A Clearwater Aquarium (or as is heard the sewage plant with fish). G'night