I've spent most of the last month searching for answers. Although I didn't find any, this weekend's pilgrimage to Tuckahoe to visit John, Alane, Cookie and Mojo was both hysterical and inspiring. My sincerest thanks for their amazing love and hospitality. But back to the story.

I searched for answers, but instead found more and more perplexing questions:

1. Does John enjoy consuming things which taste bad? (wine made from rainwater? the next logical step is to use the puddles that accumulate on Canal Street. don't even get me started on the bulgar salad... )
2. If a wall collapsed at Castle 1526, would anyone notice? (Kinda like if a tree fell in the forest...)
3. Could Uncle Vito be the Player Hater of the Millenium? (Jack Lanyo was Hitler's stunt double in....)
4. Is Stew Leonard's happy facade a front for a crime organization bent on world domination? (they sell italian sausage with broccoli-rabe, although ingenius...its unnatural)
5. WHERE IS MY WALLET? (it makes you wonder if a person found my wallet and googled my last name if they would find this website)
6. Can Uncle Vito relate ANY topic to his wife? ("OK, Mr. Mastandrea can I please see your social security card?" "Yes...but ut this woman, she don't want to let me make the coffee!")
7. If you drink enough Caravella limoncello, will your calves double in diameter? (wow)
8. How many computers are there in John's house? (reminds me of NASA Ground Control. One day you're going to hear "Tuckahoe, we have a problem...")
9. If we all get the power....do we really get the best?