So the windows on the Jeep stopped working last week, and I figure it's gotta be a blown fuse. I pull each and every fuse from both boxes -- all filaments intact. With a worried feeling in my gut I swung open the driver's side door and grabbed the rubber boot that waterproofs the bundle of cable connecting the door to the frame. I jiggled the cables and fumbled with the switches (very much a "turn your head and cough" moment). And sure enough, it coughed -- the control panel on the door momentarily came on.

Oh, how I hoped the cable would simply unplug at both ends -- I'd disconnect it from the door, disconnect it from the body, and take it to an auto parts store for a replacement. But of course, it did not disconnect. I saw as much when I ripped off the interior panel to trace the wires... Nothing here would be easy.

All that happened over the weekend. It was discouraging, but I resigned myself to driving around with no power windows for a while. Then at lunchtime today I took the car for its emissions test. Without emissions certification I can't renew the registration next month, so this was just another thing on my list. I pulled in. The attendant said: "Roll down your window." I replied, "I can't." And he then explained that he wouldn't be able to inspect the car.

Friggin' tree-huggers!

What do they do? Start your car and lean out the window to sniff for fumes? Repair-procrastination was no longer viable. In the meantime, Steve priced out the replacement cables. I'd have to shell out some $400 just for a bundle of wires I'd never be able to string through the frame and door. I'd need a shrink-ray gun to fit myself and my tools into those tiny clearances! Forget that -- this repair would be a hack job.

So once I was done with office-related work today I went out to the garage to do start some serious bypass surgery. The workspace between the door and the frame is really tight, and as I worked I cursed Ohio's emissions-crazed politicians in many new and exciting ways. Hell, most of this state doesn't even do emissions testing -- why can't Northeast Ohio run its jobs programs in ways that don't break my balls? Commies.

Eventually I bridged the split wire and got the door-panel controls working. You should see the splice job I did to get those wires joined... does a burning car create more emissions than a well-tuned engine? Maybe the eco-brownshirt at the test site can tell me.

(And since I had all the guts open I went for the gusto -- ran a new wire to the side speaker... Got to hear a few minutes of Hugh Hewitt as I put my tools away.)

Next on the list: a new bend for the sewer pipe in the basement. Kind-a like a replacement sigmoid for the house. Wonder how much that will set me back.