American Airlines? They're slipping. Two days ago I was scheduled to depart from Baton Rouge on American at 3:25 PM. That particular piece of hardware didn't leave Houston until 4 PM! Payback, of course, for TSA not strip searching me. How long did that gushy KY feeling last, anyway?

I suspect that many of us can identify with the bored flight attendant droning on with their well-rehearsed safety briefing. Necessary? You bet. Fun? Rarely.

Two nights ago I flew on that rare, fun flight.

It started innocently enough, with the early announcement that cell phone would have to be turned off when the jet bridge door closed.

Once the cabin door closed things changed for the better. The head flight attendant said, "Those of you still on your cell phones, repeat after me. Honey, I love you, I'll call you when I get to Omaha. Goodbye."

He then said that we'd be flying the 584 miles to Omaha at "33,000 feet and 7 inches" and that "the temperature in Omaha was minue three degrees...," and, after a long pause, "Celsius. That's 28 degrees Farenheit."

He started the seat belt portion of the safety briefing saying, "This is for those of you who haven't ridden in a car for the last 40 years..."

Normally you hear that a sudden loss of cabin pressure causes masks to drop. Rarely do they specifically tell you to, "Stop screaming, put on and tighten your mask, then pull on the tubing to start the flow of oxygen. And if you're travelling with a child, or someone who is acting like one, put your mask on before helping them with theirs."

A newly required announcement, he indicated, was that "The forward lavatory is for the use of First Class passengers only. The rest of us will have to use the two porta-potties at the rear of the plane."

We got the normal warning that they'd turn off the lights inside the cabin before takeoff, but I never knew it was "to enhance the looks of the flight crew."

We landed a little early and he said that we should consider it a payback on previous delays. Of course that didn't make up for the earlier flight that day, so they still owe me. But it caused me to make the later flight, which was more entertaining than most.

The porta potty comment made me wonder if he was one of us.