Was there a line in the song "Fishheads" that went " you never see Joemaha in a gay bar in Orlando sipping appletinis with Broadway Joe and Dr. Sfingi...."? Or is my memory just playing tricks on me? I know I can ask Cookie and Mojo and they can answer if for me.

John speaks the truth, I had an amazing time watching over Tarka the Wonderdog yesterday. I'm wondering if she responds to me because she can sense I like dogs....or she believes I'm a special needs patient in need of therapy. Well she got the therapy part right.....okay she probably got the special needs part right as well. I havent told the Big Kahuna that I get overtime pay for anything over eight hours when I babysit dogs...5:30am-2:30am, would be 8 hours straight and 13 hours overtime. Lucky for him, I accept all three of the major forms of payment: ravioli, broccoli rabe, and eggplant.

I understand that Joe Fatone Sr. is now moonlighting as a Vegas statistician after accurately predicting the odds of Uncle Vito being in Florida....using a mosquito and a barrell instead of a scientific calculator.

I also wanted to reference Saturday's post in which my cousin John publicly announced that I live a deranged life. My response is this: it would be less shocking and ironic if Al Sharpton accused me of having a silly haircut. Must I really mention the gorilla suit in Amsterdam?