- Me and Steve were driving to Walmart (key to a good story) one day. We happen upon an intersection with a man dressed as a large alligator in the 98 degree heat and waving cars into RJ Gators Restaurant. The car in front of us pulls up really slow and puts the window down. The passenger heaves a full size 7-11 Big Gulp at the guy. It explodes all over him. No mercy.
- Jessica was at work early one morning before Toys R Us opened and the doors were locked. The morning stock guy came and was pounding on the door franticly but Jessica had to wait for a manager to shut the door alarm off before opening it. The guy was losing it. She opened the door and the guy is jumping up and down as he bolts into the store muttering incoherent madness. Sitting on the welcome mat was a man size executive log. Still intact it slid down his leg and out the pants bottom. Thats talent. The other guys working that morning pushed it into the bushes with a a stick and periodically throughout the day thay took employees outside for a tour of the site and specimen. Stunning.
- I was parking my car early one morning at the mall and I watch a guy take 3 gallons of paint out of his van. He is holding all 3 in 1 hand when he loses grip and drops 2. He catches 1 and the other slams down sideways launching an entire gallon of white paint all over the parking lot. Hilarious and i know not how he explained where the 3rd went. Till this day there is a large white circle in the parking lot. Awesome.
- This morning on I95 there was an idiot driving a pick up truck for a mattress company. Going 25 mph in morning traffic. In the back of the truck was mattresses stacked 18 high and another 18 stacked on the cab roof. They were tied up with twine. I wonder if he reached his destination. They were waving in the wind to and fro. If i wasnt already late i would have waited to see the folly.
I95 is an endless source of amusement for me.
Just a little something to think about on the ride to work tomorrow.