That's "Mister" Dumbass to You

Yes, Mojo is familiar with a root beer commercial that aired on television years before he was born. Don't ask...

It's certainly not rare that a Mastandrea sits in a room full of people and is the only one who notices something funny.

Dumas

Recently in our social studies class we watched a video. In the video we saw Greece and there was a dr , Dr. Dumas to be exact. Immediately when I saw this I thought of the root beer commercial. I t was terrible because everyone is there bored and I am laughing.

1 Week Left

I only have one week of school left. This is very exciting. I cannot wait for it to be over. Then I can do whatever I want during the summer. I can't wait for it to be over.

Answer Key

Oh, and about that Mother's Day video... You'd have to read through the vast archives of the Macaroni Dish to understand many of the references. Here are some links to make your research more efficient:

Jumping the Curb.
This comes from one of our favorite road adventures, oft retold, when Alane lapsed into some sort of  Dukes of Hazzard fugue will driving us into a parking lot for baseball practice. I believe we went airborne. Keep it on the road lady!

I'm a Fun Guy.
Alane's favorite joke. A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom replies, " Why, ain't I a fun guy?" Also oft retold. Too oft, perhaps.

I should have been a pair of ragged claws...
... scuttling across the floors of silent seas. A snip from a T.S. Elliot poem. I'm not sure myself why Cookie can recite it. The important part is Alane can too. "Let us go then, you and I..."

It's All Red Lights In this Town.
Something I started muttering to myself once I realized that the International Traffic Gestapo had synchronized all the world's traffic signals to turn red upon my approach

Draw bridge? I can't draw!
This is one of those mental tics. Not unlike what happens upon seeing a Fish Eye wine label. Reflexes. Brain damage. Piss water.

Dinosaur, dinosaur, stop tromping all around...
...the silver moon is rising, it's time to settle down. A snip from Dinosaur's Binkit, a book Alane read to the boys repeatedly when they were babies. "Time to brush your dino-teeth, and put your PJs on!" It is etched in the boys' subconscious. And ours.

Burying James Madison

So the IRS has gone full-Nixon, targeting certain individuals who sought to "peaceably assemble" (as some dead white males once called it). To paraphrase the real-world of movies: never go full-Nixon.

Hell, even Nixon never went full-Nixon: he famously talked about sending the IRS out on a political witch hunt but he never actually did it!

Particularly angering is watching the people who run these government agencies pretend it's someone else's fault. At the very top of today's power structure are people who have shamelessly waged class war, culture war, and endless political campaign. The letter and spirit of their program is that we are absolutely not equal before the law:

• In the GM bankruptcy contracts were abrogated, subsidies allocated according to political criteria.
• As health care markets were further rigged, waivers were granted for favored interests.
• With private enterprise strangled in red tape politically connected firms got regulatory relief while others got enforcement actions.
• In the effort to perpetuate racial division (and the lucrative industries that arise from it) the DOJ dropped cases that were on the verge of yielding justice -- specifically to frustrate that unwanted result
• And who ever heard of a guy named VanderSloot anyway?

The detail of each injustice has been ignored but the tone has been unmistakably set. Thus the IRS abuse is no real surprise. Those who speak for government and media have explained in many ways that liberties are to be rationed, with party-members-in-good-standing going to the head of the line. People got elected on that. It is their program. They are directly responsible for every manifestation of that project. They'll say otherwise, even as they urge on further lawlessness.

That's what got me so depressed about last fall's election: the breakdown of law had been "ratified." I think the Founders would be depressed too. If you could dig up James Madison and show him today's IRS scandal he would almost certainly say:

"You asshats let the federal government usurp all those powers and didn't expect massive corruption? We did all that work modeling a true separation of powers and you morons let it unravel! Put me back in the ground."

Don't worry, President Madison, you will stay in the ground. Apparatchiks from every corner of the permanent bureaucracy will do whatever it takes to keep you buried.

We Now Consider Mother's Day

Not all people would consider this a "tribute" but around here it's as good as it gets.

Delicious Food

On Saturday we had eggplant, and tomato, and garlic on the grill. We also had sausage but the tomato and eggplant was the best.

Bad Winds, Good Winds

Busy week. Saw some interesting dynamics at the airport gate when the rubes of United Airlines tried to explain how our delay was due to "budget cuts." It almost resulted in rebellion: it seemed everyone knew better and shouted down the PR talking-points being read by the hapless gate attendant.

Actually, it wasn't her fault -- she explained she had been instructed to read a prepared statement and didn't feel comfortable doing it. We could see why: United was on the wrong side of a political campaign and passengers were having none of it. "It's a political stunt, don't tell us it's budget cuts!"

Maybe United has a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome? Or maybe the head honchos let their party affiliation cloud their thinking? Either way, a disgraceful performance by United. And everyone noticed. Heh.

As for today, we finally have spring weather. To celebrate, we did some yard work and got our grill on.

I mean, we really got our grill on. I wish you could smell this. YOU wish you could smell this.

It doesn't take much: take some eggplants and some roma tomatoes, slice lengthwise and lay them facedown on a really hot grill. Flip them, lower the heat, brush with oil and garlic and let them sit for an hour or more. I even laid on some wild arugula leaves for extra flavor. The stuff is growing in every corner of my yard. Yeah, springtime is here.

Dig the umbrella. Living large.

Hey, You're Both 12 Years Old Today

A dozen years ago today, Mojo made his appearance among us -- and boy was he mad! He wasted no time making his mark in the world. By pissing on the delivery room paperwork, among other things. Come to think of it, he's been doing some form of that ever since...

So today, we celebrate Mr. Furious!

Oh, and we also celebrate those four days of each year when Mojo is nominally the same age as his older brother.

Yes, until this weekend they are both 12. And according to the time-honored (and much-loathed) tradition of this household I must remind them of this as often as possible for the duration of those four days. And urge others to do likewise.

Let it be done: tremble and obey.

Or, in the words of that other monkey-in-a-turban: I am Mojo Jojo, obey me!

Race Matters?

Hey, I thought the NRA500 was running tonight? Mets game just ended so I got the car race on but this must be some other race. WTF? What network is airing the NRA500?

Eh, screw it. Maybe see what's on Netflix.