Because there's no such thing as too much cheese. Unrolling the braciole of consciousness; shaping the meatball of life. Because everything is funny; you just need to view it from the proper angle. Good for cats. Made in Poland. Because everything is like a hat. You know how those gorillas can be... Very unforgiving.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Okay, that early start I described in my last post was our early flight to the Left Coast to visit that sprawling shrine to interlocking plastic building blocks: Legoland. We left the house at 6:30 a.m. and spent most of last Saturday in airplanes and airports -- notably Salt Lake City, where everything about our connection went smoothly and efficiently. Until we were all boarded and buckled in... then they discovered that the plane was broken.

So we got thrown off. We filed haplessly to the terminal to find ways to kill four hours. Screw you, Delta.

Eventually they found us another plane and off we went to San Diego. I'd never been there before. I've heard others say it's a beautiful area and now I see what they mean.

The hotel, naturally, stiffed us out of the second bed we had reserved for our room -- so they wheeled in roll-away beds to clutter the floor and make it hard to reach our gear. Screw you, Hilton.

The next morning we hit the theme park. Da Chimpz were very excited. Even though the place had many rides, they were mainly interested in the Lego displays. And gosh did they have many of them. Everything from giraffes to automobiles to Grand Central Terminal -- all built of Lego blocks. There were busts of Lincoln and Churchill, Pavarotti and Elvis. Mount Rushmore and Thomas the tank engine. A horse's ass and Barak Obama (photo nearby; see if you can tell which).

On it went until the park closed.

We ate pretty well that night, hitting the Armenian Cafe in Carlsbad. Great stuff. We ate soujuk, lahmajun, lamb kebab, and potlejan. I explained to the guy that it was hard to get any of this stuff in Cleveland. In fact, I can't even find anyone around here who knows what lahmajun is, let alone where to find the stuff.

Even the boys tried the food and found things they liked. I sent a text message to Andre to tell him we'd found a good place and he replied that he'd been busy all day and only had a bag of pretzels for his drive home. Which of course prompted me to send additional messages describing my meal in even greater detail. Followed by e-mails with photo attachments. Just to make it really hurt.

The next day I skipped the park and took my aching spine to the hotel's hot tub. For about ten minutes there my back felt pretty good. (But when I got back to my room, dripping wet, I discovered my key-card no longer worked -- so I schlepped all the way back to the front desk where a glum attendant fixed my card and annoyed me... screw you again, Hilton.)

Tuesday we had left wide open so we hit the beach for a while and then back to the pool (where I met Vito, a local restaurateur, originally from 79th St and 18th Ave in Brooklyn!). We flew back on Wednesday and I've spent the last few days trying to catch up on household stuff -- yard work, basement clean-up. I even changed the oil in my Jeep on Friday, something I used to do regularly but for the last ten years or more have done at service stations. (Been using the local quick-change place on Bagel-ey, until Alane came back from them with a $90 bill for a bunch of useless flushes and treatments... meaning, that's the last time we use that place: screw you, Lube Stop!)

Today the plan is to just relax. So far, that's going well. My eyes opened at 5:59 this morning, which was as good a time as any to get the meatballs rolling. They've been simmering for a couple hours now. Just had some pancakes. Joe and Jean will be over later. We'll eat, then head out for Mojo's baseball game. The sun is out. It'll be a good Father's Day.

(And speaking of Andre, who knew we'd run into his likeness at Legoland!)