Of late my church going experiences are of the variety that makes God wish I was considering becoming agnostic. On Ash Wednesday, I decided that I would attend the service during my lunch hour with co-workers from my office. We go to St. John's which is Cleveland's version of St. Patrick's in NYC. The first sign of trouble comes relatively late in the service when the ashes are being dispensed. We had of course sat as far back as possible in the cathedral, so we are all a bit astounded when the Bishop comes to the back of church to dispense ashes. This does not prevent my one co-worker from ashing and dashing and off she goes stating that it is not a holy day of obligation. I was surprised that the bishop didnt smite her. I return to my pew and due to the large number of participants, another priest has come to the back of the church to help. However, this priest is about 4 feet tall, and the people receiving ashes from him are all about 6 feet tall. So the priest has to basically jump to put ashes on these peoples foreheads and let me tell you, not one of them made any effort to make it easier for the guy. Then, I'm in line for communion and the bishop starts making this beckoning sign and I'm looking around hoping it isn't me he wants to come forward. Instead it's this lay guy who must be his lackey, and the bishop tells him to go get more hosts. And the guy starts bowing and saying, Yes Bishop which just made me think of Yes Master and Igor in all those horror flicks. To add to the very reverant atmosphere, the Bishop is asking another of his lackeys if the cameras on him...
The other Sunday we were in church and I had promised Cookie we could sit in the front row which has a cushion on it. John expressed concern that the seat we had picked was for the handicapped but I told him I didnt think so. Some guy then asks us to do the offertory and to move the table that the gifts are done when we are done. Mojo is ambivalent about participating so when the time comes I'm like stepping over him to get out and he decides he will do it. So we are crashing into each other like the three stooges. We of course then forget to move the table as instructed and the guys doing collection have to do it. The finale to that mass is the eucharist minister coming to our pew to give us communion because apparently we are in the handicapped pew...
It was also a week of random thoughts. While sitting at the Ash Wednesday service I am thinking to myself, why can't I imagine any of these people strapping explosives to themselves and walking into a crowded public place? Then I'm going home from work one day and some person has in their back window, Cigars and the Holy Bible.
Cookie had his cub scout banquet after church today which was a nice time. After mass, the priest made sure to inform us that he was quite chatty...