Cookie neglected to mention the other fish the zookeeper put out for the grizzlies -- live ones she dropped them into the bears' pond. But even as she did it we were already shouting at the TV that she should hang them in the tree as she had done with the oranges.
We scream at the TV a lot. More than you'd expect for a family that doesn't have cable. For instance, we were watching Netflix during the Christmas holidays and to make merry we watched a surreal performance of The Nutcracker.
All I wanted was the Russian dance. But we wound up watching many other segments because they were so bizarre. Cookie and I were particularly intrigued by the three-headed rat. I told Alane it reminded me of that horrible movie where they sewed the white guy's head onto Rosie Greer's body. I was shocked and appalled that Alane wasn't aware of this cinematic gem. So of course I had to look it up online.
Because that's what we do around here -- we tie all things to their cultural antecedents.
And I'm happy to say that the boys have developed some skill in this. In fact, as I was telling them of that crazy dream I wrote about last month, Cookie came up with a very interesting legal theory that even I had not considered. You'll recall that in my dream, our bolshevik president came to my house and helped himself to my coffee. In the dream (just as in real life), I really wanted the guy to just go away. But I also didn't want to be impolite.
Cookie skipped right past being polite and was formulating a legal theory -- a constitutional argument -- that would allow me to eject him summarily from my property.
"He's the commander in chief, right?"
"Sadly, yes."
"That's a military position. So couldn't you say he's not allowed to quarter himself in your house?"
Brilliant! Not only has Obama perpetrated flagrant real-life violations of the First and Second Amendments, he has infiltrated my dreamland to violate the Third! And Cookie caught it!
Which just goes to show you -- you really don't want to mess with the law firm of Mastandrea, Mastandrea, Mastandrea & Mastandrea.