You know what would have made Steve's TV show better? If someone in the rank and file had painted his face blue and made a speech appealing to first principles.

Hah hah -- that only happens at block parties!

Goog golly, is it humid this week. Just put the trash at the curb and I think I need a sweat towel. I was standing in my two-car garage just now, thinking: "how much of this stacked-up crap can I put out for collection today?" Two-car garage my ass -- I'm lucky I can get one car in there at any given time. Maybe if I start putting out these Omaha Steak coolers... And the rolls of carpet I tore up, what, a year ago... And these worn-out and tattered patio umbrellas.

Y'know what I need? One of those Cinzano marketplace umbrellas. I'd sit outside all year under one of those. Yeah, I need that.