A few (final?) words about the election… Or pop culture. Same thing. It's a shout-out to my depressed conservative comrades still moping around, muttering, "the country is over." My response to you: yeah, it is.

I'm not trying to construct a clever political argument. I'm just looking at the day to day functions of the central government, the one founded with a charter to do some very specific things. We must now forget those things; government's two self-assigned functions today are welfare and industrial planning. That's it. Everything else is subservient to those power sources. National security, criminal justice, accountability to the people -- to say they take a backseat understates how they've been co-opted.

I'll leave it to others to wax philosophical about the enormity of the slow-motion coup. The practical upshot is enough to prove the case: our ingenious original framework is out, replaced with… red tape... and unlimited welfare.

Restoration is going to be a steep uphill climb. It won't be televised. Our every effort will be denounced angrily. That part will be televised. Middle ground is vanishingly small. Bitterness is baked into the cake now, so stop expecting otherwise.

Anyway, that's how things look from the vantage point of the sovereign republic of Berea Rose. Foreign relations are tense, but the state of this nation is strong.

I see Fordham is once again covering itself in glory. Hey, no one is entitled to a speaking gig. But you better know your facts before you condemn someone's viewpoint. And if you're going to talk smack you better base it one principles that can be applied consistently. But who are we kidding?

Eh, Fordham lost my respect a long time ago. Let 'em squirm.

Yeah, what better way to celebrate Thanksgiving with family than to gather round the old flat screen and watch a couple of slasher flicks. They were laugh out loud bad/funny. Had lots of the bare-breastedness typical of the genre, thus my having to keep my thumb on the FF button. But they also had... musical interludes? Also FF-worthy, but funny.

Last night we watched the very expensive movie that is thankskilling. You know a movie is good when a chicken rips some guys face off and wears it around as a disguise that fools children. It was probably the least funded movie ever. The acting could be done by two year olds. It was that good!

Last night on thanksgibling we watched the 2 worst thanksgibling movies.  The movies were: Thankskilling and PoultryGeist. These movies were extremely messed up and we ended up fast forwarding through most of them.  I have decided to comment on poultrygeist. The movie consists of a fast food place being built on sacred indian burial ground and some pulsating vein covered eggs.  Since the movie was so messed up we saw no zombie chickens.  The movie was so messed up that we only saw half of it.  What we did see was just the pulsating vein covered eggs and the aftermath of chicken attacks.

This turkey still has some thawing to do. And I'm kind-a stinky; gotta take a shower.

I asked Alane just now if she thought I could thaw the turkey faster by taking it into the shower with me.

She's not on board with that most excellent plan.

Funny that as we're having this completely ridiculous discussion about avoiding the appearance of old age, here comes a scientific study that finds chimpanzees experience what us humans know as a mid-life crisis.

This explains Mojo's sense of foreboding!

I do like Steve's ideas, though. I shall purchase an adult diaper and wear it at the dinner table for Thanksgiving. I will randomly intersperse the conversation with an accusatory, "What, do I look old to you?" and then launch something as if to make a greater point.

But back to the chimps article, gotta love the cutline that accompanies the photo: "Unlike men, middle-aged great apes are not known for pursuing disastrous lifestyle changes during their 'midlife crises.'"

Interesting. Mastandreas are, generally, very simian. But I'm not aware that many of us hit our 50s and feel a need to cruise the neighborhood in gaudy convertibles. Or should I finally get myself one of those?

Interesting idea, Mojo. I suggest a second effective way to avoid appearing your age is a return to wearing a diaper. Nothing else. If you walk in public in only a diaper...even better if its soiled, most people will assume your at least 5 years younger than you actually are. I haven't yet tested the theory, but I'm pretty sure its sound. As for the go-kart race, I will join you, only my car will have a flat screen TV playing Matlock reruns and prune juice bar...which will attract all the octogenarians in the crowd around my car...making me appear much much younger by comparison. Living in South Florida, I dont need to any such gimmicks...when Jennie and I go out for breakfast here the average age in the room is usually deceased.

Anyway, I was thinking about that trip in which I did lose my wallet en route to New York. It became the theme and the mantra..."Just forget about it.." That said its time for breakfast!

Looks like one of the more notorious 419 scammers has entered the "fiscal cliff" negotiations, taking his case directly to the American people. In yet another blast e-mail:

Greetings to you, anxious American. I am great leader of a once-evil nation, still trying to feed the appetites of oppressed peoples not offered pay and benefits from bankrupt industries fleeing our borders.

Sadly, my efforts to assist helpless women and minorities have been thwarted by malefactors of great wealth. Please to send help!

Immediately remit to me $60 billion of someone else's money and great wealth will be yours. Do not feel guilt about taking the $60b, their companies and investments will never notice it missing. No, really!

If you do not send money evil central planner will require to carry a pregnancy to term. If you do send other people money I will give you freedom and happiness. And a free cellphone.

I don't know, I feel like I've seen these offers before. But this one might work! Well, at least that's what everyone keeps telling me. Who am I to question conventional wisdom?

Whatever. As long as I get a federal subsidy to build Mojo's biscuit-mobile. As an engine-free go-cart it's got to qualify for at least one of the many "green" rackets now on offer... Are they funding anti-aging research? Mojo needs a scam -- it's how you make it in today's world!

My father and I one morning were discussing who knows what. This discussion brought up somehow how I would avoid being "old".  My amazing plan is to enter a go kart race when people start calling me old. In the race a would drive a kart that looked like a biscuit. Driving this biscuit mobile would allow people to still consider me young.  Hopefully people don't steal my idea.

Here's a question: when you were 11 years old, did you make plans for middle age? Specifically, did you formulate schemes that would prevent anyone from calling you "old"?

Mojo has a plan. That's really all I need to tell you at this point. If you're really lucky, he'll share it here.

Flew back from NYC this evening and had the wind at my back for a change. Somehow snagged a seat in first class. Seems such a waste: first class to Cleveland. That's like putting truffle buerre blanc on a shit-burger. Whatever -- sitting up front let me sweep right off the plant as soon as they opened the door. Gotta love that.

On the subway to the airport I saw the most batshit-crazy panhandling pitch: lady boards the train and I can see she has a beat up drum strapped over her shoulder. She positions herself in the center of the car, puts the drum on the floor, and takes out two... clubs are really what they were. She gets down on the floor and start beating the drum -- badly. She'd pause momentarily and announce she needed money. I think some of the pleas were rhymed. It was completely insane.

Everyone pretended not to notice. That part I was used to.

This video is just showing me that this guy either really loves this job or he is getting tons of money from it.

I find that this relates to my dad's recent post some how. That somehow is that in a man's home/castle he can watch all the stupid stuff he wants. 

Okay, I couldn't get Cookie or Mojo to chime in with their vocabulary words from school. So maybe I will taunt them (and Steve and the others) with something from one of their after-school activities. They do a writing workshop where they respond to a "prompt" and then write something up based on the prompt. I thought I'd do the same here:

A man's home is his castle.

Discuss.

As the sages wisely remarked, the republic would last only until the people realized they could vote themselves other people's money.

And so Steve called me this week, distraught over the disruptions and deprivations that most certainly lie ahead. He also lamented what we all fear the future will not hold: economic opportunity. That's what you get for being such a foolish optimist.

I reminded him that the tide had been going out on that for years -- pop culture is explicit in its preference for the state over the people. This made him even more depressed.

"Do you have any advice?" he pleaded. "How do I come to terms?"

Perhaps drawing too much on the loss-of-republic aphorism, I only had one piece of advice:

"Forget about it. Whatever you thought you had, forget it was there."

This reminded Steve of his infamous trip to New York several years ago -- a trip clouded by the fact that Steve lost his wallet as he got off the plane.

"That's the same thing you told me when I was at your house depressed because I lost all that mad money I had saved for partying in New York."

I didn't realize it at first, but that was exactly what my advice to Steve throughout that weekend: forget the wallet, forget the money, forget what we were going to do, let's do something else.

Which is our exact situation now. Scaled up to the national level. As then, it's the only advice I can offer. Forget it. Do something else. Still doesn't feel adequate. It's not adequate.

In the meantime, I'm asking Cookie to post a blog challenge. Please post your answers in complete sentences. Grammar and punctuation will be counted in your grade.

And so Leviathan plods forward, once again to thunderous applause. Four more of the same. Yikes.

I thought I would grace these pages as Steef and I anxiously await for some sort of miracle to happen......Alas, the only thing I can find comfort in as of right now are brownies and soda...a very awful combination....
We did come to one conclusion, however, we are moving to Kentucky. What could be bad? Florida is so backwards...As Steve just said, "Florida's judgement is garbage." Nelson beat Mack...ENOUGH SAID....

Steef is much more calm than I am...I am beside myself and my nails are entirely bitten off.....O no...he just got a look on his face...We are most likely mourning tomorrow....and  preparing for a move....

It's low-key here at Berea-Rose. We voted earlier today and are very eager for a happy result. But we're not watching any TV broadcasts on this night of nights -- the network news companies can kiss my garlic ass. Oh, and their advertisers too. I'll check in when all the counting is done. In the meantime, there's work to do. Broke the drain under the basement slop sink, so Mojo and I took a run over to the Home Depot just now. For some reason Mojo really wanted us to buy a plunger while we were there. And Tic-Tacs. We bought neither. I do have the plumbing piece I need and I may go downstairs and install it tonight. Or I may procrastinate further. Probably procrastinate. Cookie is here with me, insisting that a trip to Home Depot can only be boring. I am trying to convince him of the philosophy of life I shared long ago with Maria Rose: everything is funny. You just have to look at it from the proper angle.

This is my adventure with my family during... THE BLACKOUT!  It all started when  storms started hitting Ohio. The first day the power went out we thought it would last only a hour or so. It lasted a week. We thought we would be able to enjoy each other but that never worked out well. So we decided to waste the precious battery on our hand held devices to play video games.  We also went to our grandmama's house when she got power.  During this I had recently gotten a ballon and that became a source of enterainment and at one point we played board games.  During these tension filled days waiting for power we started bond and quickly change to doing our own things. With there being no power it was like our house had turned to ice.This exciting filled heartbreaker lasted until miday saturday. This is my summary of my stinky experience with the... THE BLACKOUT!  

Well, that sucked. Electricity went out Monday night and just came on mid-day today. Had to be around midnight when it finally went down. We'd been flickering all night with the howling winds. I had fallen asleep in the Ice Room but woke up around 1:30 a.m. to a house in full shut down. With the heat being off, I beat a tactical retreat from the barely-insulated Ice Room and spent the rest of the night listening to whipping winds and radio forecasts. We'd camp in the living room pretty much the rest of the week, stoking logs in the fireplace to gin up a little warmth. We ate well, considering how I hate to waste food. On Wednesday I ate a pound of bacon -- Alane was at work and the boys at school and what was I gonna do? Throw away bacon? So now it's clean-up time. Cookie and Mojo had the Xbox on within about 12 seconds of the power clicking back on. Our POS refrigerator is cleaned, inside and out -- we'll see if it works any better now that the heat-transfer coils on the bottom aren't wearing a wool blanket of dust fuzz.