Finally, a gubernatorial candidate New Jersey can be proud of! I just hope Oogie runs as Floyd's lieutenant governor.

Hey, why not -- Uncle Floyd just plays a clown on stage; here in Ohio we have real clowns holding office.

Last night we picked over the last of the turducken leftovers. What a weekend. There was much food and much sunshine. And much ridiculous conversation. The Amish still hate Marlena, maybe more so considering all that turkish coffee grit stuck in Jenx's teeth.

Teef.

And today we run down the curtain on this year's Cookie-and-Mojo Equinox -- those four days of each year that they are both the same age. Yep, Mojo turned 8 on Friday; today Cookie turns 9.

And that's another thing about this particular equinox -- there's a lot of cake involved.

What a crazy week. My NYC trip was cut short by a raging case of the mal'occhio. And then there's all that baseball practice. Took up a lot of y Saturday. Mercifully, last night's practice was rained out. But there will be a Cub Scout meeting tonight. As there was on Sunday. And more baseball later in the week.

I go back to the eye doctor again this afternoon. I'm still using Roger Clemes strength steroidal eyedrops. You should see my fastball now. Last week the doctor sent me for x-rays of my ass. Nice snapshots: sacroiliac pr0n.

And speaking of Carlo Rossi: I hope they never stop making that stuff. Steve?

Watched a few minutes of baseball last night. Since Da Chimpz have got their league already under way (practices already!) I stopped on the game as I was flipping channels to explain to Cookia and Mojo what the fielders were doing.

Wasn't until the next inning that I realized I was watching the Mets. And in their new stadium, no less. Looks crazy. I didn't like it. As a New York state taxpayer, I want my money back. And after watching the Mets play, I want that time back too.

More practices later this week: Mojo on Thursday and Cookie on Saturday.

It's raining today on Berea-Rose.

Nothing bugs me quite as much as seeing snow on the ground in April. In other words, nothing bugs me quite as much as northeast Ohio -- especially when I'm looking out the window at a white-out while Maloofa is on the phone telling me she just got back from the beach.

But the snow from Sunday and yesterday is pretty much all gone by now. In fact, I think we're in the 40s. Heatwave.

On Sunday we went to Mass at a different church. It's the older parish where they say Mass with a more traditional delivery that I like better than the new-age nonsense that dilutes some other services. And the choir? They sang a few hymns in Polish. That's old school. (But at the Our Father we once again saw half the congregation assume a Marcel Marceau mime-in-a-box posture -- palms open to the front, "I'm stuck in an invisible box, how did I get in this invisible box" -- when did that start?)

Steve told me a fascinating story that involved 5,200 professional chess players. The blogosphere awaits his remarkable photo essay.

It's April. Think I can get TARP funds to fund what I owe on state and local taxes?

Lemme tellya, looking out the window right now and seeing frosty ice crystals all over my lawn is blowjhinski. I've had about enough of winter, and after the balmy climes of Spumoni I just ain't in the mood for this.

March goes out like a lamb, my ass.

And speaking of lamb, we cooked some fish last week. Here's a picture of Iron Chef Mostaccioli taking care of business. Those tuna steaks in the foreground got seared nicely -- even moreso when the cedar plank under the salmon burst into flames. All of which served the greater culinary good.

Back here at Berea-Rose, the chimps were watching a teen choice award show on a kids' network. I had considered kicking them off the TV so I could watch "Cops" or "World's Dumbest" but relented -- hey, at least this stuff was geared toward kids, right?

What crap -- it was all a bunch of enviro-crazed agitprop. As part of one "celebrity" introduction, they showed him posed with Algore while the announcer cooed that "he even drives an electric car!" After a few more minutes of "let's all save the planet" horseshit I made the executive decision: the TV goes off.

And it won't be turned on again until Thursday night. When we watch the next episode of "Smoking Gun Presents World's Dumbest." As a family.

Yeah, the boys will pick up bad humor from uncouth commentators -- but at least they won't be enlisted in a mindless (and increasingly annoying) cult of green.

Me? I like news for its entertainment value. So does writer James Lileks, who tweets: "Maybe I’m old-school, but 'President fires CEO' looks as wrong as 'Pope fires Missile.' Does not compute." Hey Lileks, it's a Brave New World out there!

I suppose it is for the best that Cookie and Mojo do not get school bus service. Especially if the case of this poor kid is in any way representative. So he ripped a few... Big deal! The bus driver who suspended him sounds like a real winner. Money quote from complaint form:

it is so stink that you can't breathe after he does it

Which of course takes me back to that stand-up routine Bazzukajoe used to play in a loop back at the house in Staten Island: "your feet so stink I can taste it in my mouth." Anyone else recall that performance? Anyone ever think to quote it in official incident report documentation?

Whizzinator. Heh. "If you listen closely, you can hear the little motor."

Yeah, there's a lot of fakery out there these days. Gotta stay alert.

What would Curtis Sliwa say?

Ah, a day of beautiful weather, a nice meatloaf, a glass of red wine, and now they're playing a Smiths song from Louder Than Bombs. Life is good, even when Morrissey is so depressed:

England is mine
It owes me a living

The more things change...

Gonna buy Frylock some airline tickets to Venezuela, or maybe Argentina -- let him see up close that the populist-driven statism we're getting here is really not something new under the sun.

In fact, I read somewhere that there is nothing new under the sun.

Frylock failed to mention what else he saw on the news: Kucinich. Yes, the Dennis! is back on camera, and this time he has every right to be angry. There he was in the primaries, making clear just the kind of marxist craziness he vowed to deliver -- which is just about exactly the marxist craziness we're getting now.

Cleveland just doesn't get any respect. "I explicitly promised a disastrous program of weak defense, unsustainable entitlements, and crony corporatism," the deranged elf seems to be protesting. "And still you chose the other guy, who does all the same things without calling them what they are. I'm the original, you ingrates!"

See that, America? You could-a had the real thing.

We've got beautiful weather for today's St. Pat's Day. Last night we played musical children: with Mojo sleeping at a friend's house and Cookie having one of his pals stay here. We stayed up late to watch the new Narnia movie. They still woke up ahead of me.

So earlier today I was erupting to Sfingi about the reaction of CNN and even FoxNews regarding the controversy surrounding the AIG bonuses. As always, Sfingi just laughed, I tried to explain my outrage is not only a policy objection, its the fundamental lack of logic that dictates them. Look, I objected to the AIG bailout, a business is darwinistic in that the the strongest and best manage survive...the others either fall or become absorbed by another. Regardless, AIG is GIVEN 170 billion, no strings attached to artificially survive another day. It spends .1% on its contractually obligated merit and performance based bonuses...which I might add would undoubtedly recirculate in the economy, and its an outrage. What kind of company actually honors its legal contract with its most efficient employees, the honest thing to do would be to illegally steal the bonus and spend it elsewhere in ways that also have no strings attached. AIG did the right thing. So the honorable Larry Reid and Chuck Shumer come up with a brilliant response, like a bully in a schoolyard they promise a tax to revoke the entire bonus. I hope they each get a boyle inside their asshole. So Sfingi once again giggles at my ire and naivete, reminds me I'm supposed to be a politico and none of this is a surprise.

So Sfingi was attentive and sympathetic to my issues, but earlier this morning when i first heard of the AIG rebellion, I was watching Jenny clean our cockerspaniel's ears when she accidentally broke off the cotton tip in one of his ears. As shes desperately and quietly trying to remove it I'm exploding with the above sentiments and the more I rail, the more Jenny is panicking at our failure to rescue the Qtip. Finally, she blurts out "Would you shut the fuck about this and please help me get this out his ear. Neither Barack Obama or Harry Reid is going to pay the 300 fucking dollar vet bill if we don't.!!" Sheez, Silent No More indeed.