I'm on a roll now. I pulled about three tons of Pez paraphernalia from the upper shelf of the closet this afternoon, only to uncover a mysterious box. In it was a treasure trove: a long-lost coin collection, a nose-and-glasses set, my sam-brown belt from my high school military uniform, a fully operational steam engine (no shit, really), and most importantly, my Uncle Floyd button.

Okay, so today's document-burn was postponed due to rain. Guido says we'll roast the paperwork next week -- and drink the bottle of lumbrusco that we bought yesterday. I look look forward to it.

In the meantime, I will try to get my Kobler V-Matic shaver to work. Guido mail ordered it from a surplus outlet back in the 1980s. They were ancient even then -- probably manufactured in the 1950s or 60s. He bought one for me and one for himself. I used mine a few times, but not very often -- it had a tendency to tear fiercely at the top few layers of facial skin. Guido was here just now when I unearthed it from the bottom of the mystery box. We both stood in awe of the precision Swiss beard-cutting gear. We plugged it in, switched it on and got -- nothing.

Oh well. It shall live on, if nowhere else, here in the Macaroni Dish.