I don't have a living will or a healthcare proxy or any of the useful stuff a lawyer would normally advise for a client (that figures). Furthermore, I know a blog-post is a poor and legally-insufficient replacement for any of those but at this moment I would like to make this clear: If I'm ever in a situation where I'm stuck to the train tracks because my balls are frozen to the rails, just shoot me. Or let the train roll over me. Because even if I was set free, I'd never live it down.