Looks like Ivan won't be knocking on the door of Spumoni South. Now, if they'd just get the power back up -- maybe this blog would awake from its slumber.

Summer's not quite over, but I've been sensing that inevitability. Went out this morning to ride the bike (the jogging I do every other day is starting to wreck my knee) and had to wear a sweatshirt.

Still lots of standing water in the grass. That was some crazy rain we had last week.

Today is Tuckahoe Day! The mayor will be out by the train station giving pony rides. Or something like that. We'll take the boys over in a little bit. I don't think Smashmouth will be performing at this particular event. But I wish they would.

John Paul remains fixated on a short trip we made to an animal refuge in Jupiter last month. It was fun -- there were lots of cool animals. But that's not what John Paul remembers.

It was on the eve of Hurricane Charley's blowing past, and it was already rainy, but we went anyway. We parked the car and piled out -- myself, the boys, BazzukaJoe and Stephanie. For whatever reason, we thought the way to reach the animals was to cut through a path that led through the woods.

Wrong. We walked several hundred feet into the woods and not only did the path not lead to anything, it sort of disappeared. So we turned around. We found the animal displays behind some administrative buildings.

Not a very memorable part of the trip -- I had forgotten all about it. Until Alane asked me about it.

"When we were in Florida, did you wander lost in the woods because you missed a sign and then have to go back to see the animals?"

Apparently, John Paul decided to share the tale at great length while they drove somewhere last week. The other night, I decided to ask John Paul about it directly. I was amazed to learn just how extensive his version of the story had become.

According to John Paul, BazzukaJoe and I walked us all past a clearly marked sign that said "zoo" and had an arrow. We went in the other direction, taking us all into the woods and getting us lost.

This was a bit much -- not only did I doubt that there was a "zoo" sign, I found it highly unlikely that he saw it while we didn't. Besides, the kid's four and a half years old: he can't read.

"John Paul, if you did read a sign that said 'zoo' then you'd know how to spell that word."

I watched the gears in his head turn.

"It's spelled oh oh zee."

Okay, so he knows the letter in "zoo." And he would presumably recognize a sign that said "zoo." That place didn't call itself a zoo. And there were no signs. And we weren't lost.

And besides, he spelled "zoo" wrong!

Got a voicemail from BazzukaJoe yesterday evening letting us know that everyone is OK down in Jupiter. They must've driven around to find a live Nextel cell. Last I made contact was Saturday -- everyone was holed up behind plywood windows eating meatball sandwiches from a jerry-rigged steam table.

They should-a rolled in a hot dog wagon!

Anyway, we look forward to the pictures. Hope the damage report comes in small. And the phone line is brought up soon (though I remember driving up I-95 after Charley hit a few weeks ago -- dozens of convoys of power-line repair crews coming in from all points north... it might be a while before power and phone come back).

I tried and tried to explain it to the Mrs. that she's so much better off doing things my way. Whay can I say -- I'm a horse-oriented kind of guy. But Alane remains unconvinced.

Feh, she should go churn some butter.

So the RNC convention is winding down, and so is the work-week. Got out of the office at about 5:45 and walked past a few dozen cops on my way to the train station when I recognized... a Mastandrea face...

Yup, they sent Vito in from Brooklyn to keep the peace at the Sheraton (not the Sheraton across the street from my office, but the Sheraton one block down on Seventh Avenue -- yeah, two Sheratons right next to each other).

And without even seeing BazzukaJoe's post yet, Vito and I talked about... the friggin' hurricane that's heading for Florida!

Anyway, we're getting Vito onto this blog. We need more input for the Encyclopedia Mastandrea.

Today was a stressful day at Spumoni South. It began with the lines at Home Douch-po. This is price gouging at its best. They cannot just sell they must profit from a category 5 frenzy. The wait was 2 1/2 hours. Then you have to wait to pay. So my mom has some mannish women ranch hand come pick us up with a duelie pickup truck to transport wood. She leaves me to right with this pro wrestler and here her rants and hatred for the big stores like home depot and publix. I partially agree during times like these. Anyway We get to Spumoni Gardens South and proceed to board up all the big front and back windows and put anything that can get air in a safe spot. El Duce surveyed the situation. There was some debate on whether to board up the front doors but good sense prevailed. Our neighbor Bill has informed us that he has enough Busch to get him till monday and he will be driving west to a "SAFE SPOT". Where I have no idea. He said he is not moving the boat or jet skis or anything else so whatever lands on our property we plan on keeping. I wish that they would hsve nsmed it better. Like hurricane Fangool, Follicullitis, Farquar no i gott it. From now on it shall be named HURRICANE FORMAGGIO!! And so we wait. When will it arrive and where. We will all be at Spumoni South. Power or not. Flood or not. So if anyone cannot reach us if you have a nextel and want to reach us use direct connect. Otherwise us the nextel website and send a text message to my phone. 561-262-7873.

With hurricane Frances heading straight for Spumoni Gardens South, we all know that this is the right time to make a big roast. Then cover it with foil, to make sandwiches later.

If we can only figure out a way to boil macaroni in the pool.

NYC is pretty quiet these days -- RNC convention nothwithstanding. Lots of cops at every streetcorner. As I gaze blankly from my office window I don't see a whole lot of traffic on Seventh Avenue.

Not bad.

On the one hand, it being the last weekend in August makes me a little sad that summer is slipping away. On the other hand, it's really friggin hot this weekend. I've spent the day hiding out in the air-conditioned living room, fiddling with computers and cleaning off my desk (it's futile).

Should be some good blogging next week as my office overlooks mid-town on the west side -- should get a birds-eye view of GOP convention gridlock. With any luck, I'll get to and from work without getting nuked, poisoned, infected or blown up by any of the many enemies of civilization who are currently taking aim at NYC (to be distinguished from the enemies of civilization one usually finds in NYC).

I'm so tempted to blog on politics -- but it's being handled so well by so many other sites.

Maybe we should turn this blog into a 527 group?

Too bad I don't have enough web space to post video clips -- there are so many Mastandrea-isms that just can't be reduced to words. Vinny's: "get outta heeeeere." BazzukaJoe's: "uhhh!" Mojo's: "eh!" And, of course, Vito's: "so I looked at him..."

I'm still in the stress-free protective bubble that enveloped me over the course of my two weeks of vacation. But it is rapidly wearing away. It held up well during the early-morning meeting I had with my boss ("I couldn't hear a word you said" is what I told him afterward). And it withstood the management meeting that run through noon. And was still more or less intact following the onslaught of issues that flew my way throughout the remainder of the day. But I'm frazzled.

I need more vacation. I think I'll go to Najaf. Talk some sense into that Mutanda al Sadr fellow. Get all Brooklyn on his ass.

Kind of like how John recognizes the weird thngs that Uncle Vito may say from time to time. Today during Sunday dinner, Marlena, Jenia, and I couldn't help but reflect on all of the bizarre terms and phrases that we constantly hear my mother say on a daily basis. Some may understand, some may not, but nevertheless just............ Enjoy!

1. "I gotta call Phyllis."
2. "Do me a favor...make some coffee."
3. "Oh Vinny, so sore, so sore."
4. "Why don't you sticka broom up my ass and I'll sweep!?"
5. "Don't you shush me, I only get louder!"
6. "You're as thick as shit!"
7. "You got long hands!"
8."He's the horses ass!"
9. "Don't talk to me like I'm one of your asshole buddies!"
10. "He a poor jerk."
11. "Your mother's got a big one!"
12. "Your sister's ass!"
13. "Your sister's got nothin'!"
14. "He's such a dingleberry."
15. "You must have blocked it out."
16. "Hello...I'm here!"(On the Nextel)
17. "I feel like someone bashed my head in with a sledgehammer."
18. "I'm all sweated."
19. "You smell like the outside."
20. "A bunch of judrules."
21. " I gotta call Mary Jo."
22. "I'm so tired I can't stand up."
23. "I got three hours of paperwork to do."
24. "I could eat tuna everyday."
25. "TRANSFER FUNDS!"
26. "What a sin...that's such a sad state of affairs."

*****If there are any that we have failed to mention, please feel free to add to the list.*****