Don't get discouraged, Don Tommasino. Girls are fundamentally confused, just know that usually a guy ends up in the friend zone because hes worked hard to be an altogether decent human being...so let her poor judgement validate what you always say about yourself...you're awesome. Anyway, they say names predetermine your future job...Nikki is tied with Destiny and Ivy as the quintessential stripper name. Of course, I myself will refrain from dispensing any personal advice on choosing women...that would be like Michael Jackson saying "I can recommend you a really great plastic surgeon..." However, I've given it some thought and if parties are not working out for you, I think a good place to meet women is the gynocologist. Its just a thought.

Yeah. Sweet.

So much for the whole Nikki thing.

We were talking and she informed me that at this point, I'm nothing more than a friend and she doesn't see that changing any time soon.

That kinda sucks. A lot. But I'll get over it. Life goes on.

It seems the hardest part about finding someone I want to be with is having to meet new people. All of my female friends have put me securely in the friend zone, and I'm not exactly interested in any of them.

I guess I just need to find my way to more parties. I guess there'll be more girls. Hopefully more attractive, intelligent ones.

It looks to me like Vito Jr. has two different Blogger accounts -- one attached to Tutti Barese and the other to the Macaroni Dish. Maybe a nice Chantix-snooze will help the other userid come to you? As in a dream, perchance?

I'm hanging in NYC right now, milling around while my droogies do all the work. While they're breaking down equipment tonight maybe I'll save them a doggie bag from Piano Due -- supposed to be a nice joint but I honestly don't recall ever seeing it as I passed that way to/from work every day. Maybe it opened since I moved away. (Hey Steve, you think I should order Orange Soup and see how they respond?)

I'm cleaning out my office too -- something I should've done months ago. There's really no need to tie up a room that sits empty most of the year. So my managers will play musical offices to scoop up the new digs. One window looks north on Seventh Avenue a few blocks to Central Park, the other the Sheraton and eastward. Whenever Cookie visited he'd sit on the windowsills, lean his head on the glass, and count the taxicabs passing down below (something he remembers still from the NY days -- memories that are slowly fading as he gets older).

So maybe by Saturday morning I'll have most of this crap boxed up or discarded. I might even wipe things down before I hand over the key!

The weather is cold. Radio City is already dressing itself up for Christmas. I think I like the city better these days, being able to visit and just get my work done, catch up with friends and colleagues. That old commute of mine was tame by metro-area standards, but I dreaded it profoundly.

I recieved this in my email box this morning, and felt it my moral and civic duty to share it with the rest of the world. Vito Jr., you are a fascinating individual, and all I can say is WoooooooW.


hi.. i wrote this last night.. i tried to get it on the blog.. but my page says.. im only part of the tutti barese blog.. so i couldn't post in macaroni dish.. so i emailed it to u guys..

hello.. im sittin in my computer chair.. just got home from my girlfriends house a few minutes ago.. im watchin conan o'brien..i love this show.. jerry seinfeld is the main guy for the night.. he did some new material.. it was pretty good.. and promoted his new bee movie.. again.. then its time to goto commercial.. first commercial.. its for a prescription drug called CHANTIX.. a pill to help people quit smoking.. it somehow blocks the nicotine receptors in your brain.. and helps fight cravings.. making for a smoother transition into the life of a non-smoker.. the commercial is all about positive messages and a sense of hope.. and easily achievable success.. they demonstrate visually with a tortoise and rabbit racing to point out that slow and steady wins the race to quit smoking.. and all the while a male narrator.. sounds like he is in his thirties.. possibly a family man.. a smart man.. probably a non-smoker.. he knows all about this terrific discovery.. and he wants me to know.. so he speaks right to me (im the only one in the room).. in his confident know-it-all voice.. he thinks i should talk to my doctor about this CHANTIX.. so i know he's lookin out for me..and then he tells me about the side effects.. which he should have waited for the doctor to tell me that.. because most of them are pretty lousy.. but its only MOST.. not all.. the side effects are..


nausea
sleep disturbances.. (trouble sleeping, changes in dreaming)
constipation
gas
vomiting

i want to have changing in dreaming.. the nausea would not be fun to have.. neither would the vomiting.. and to be honest... im not a big fan of being constipated.. but after that we have gas.. hahaha.. now that is another pretty cool side effect to have.. i would be blasting farts here.. there.. everywhere.. and on the telephone for long distance farts.. it would be pretty great to have just the weird dreams.. and gas side effect.. however.. in the wrong hands.. that sort of side effect combination could make a man go insane with power.. but i digress.. the reason i am writing this.. is because.. i have tried to quit cigarettes a while back ago.. and used the assistance of a nicotine patch.. and that too effects your dreams.. but they used different phrasing.. on the patch box it said.. may experience vivid dreams.. and one night i had a such a side effected dream.. that i was in this random house somewhere in dreamland.. and i was pregnant.. and not the "its bluuuue!" pregnant.. i had a watermelon stomach pregnant.. hahaha.. then i remember being on a beach.. with my newly birthed offspring.. i dont remember if it was a boy or girl.. then somehow i lost the poor kid somewhere on the beach.. maybe in the waves.. im not sure..at one point i looked up into the sky.. and there were hoards of flying lobster tails.. just flying in one direction..and pretty much blocking most of the blue sky.. then i woke up.. it was still dark outside.. got outta bed.. went to pee.. scribbled the main parts of the dream on a piece of paper.. and went back to bed.. which was unfortunately dreamless.. but that dream was by far the wierdest dream i have ever had.. it would be great if we could control what we dream about.. but having each dream be a surprise is great too.. good ones or bad ones.. i wonder if they could make a pill where the desired effect is to have vivid weird dreams.. but then again it would probably also have its fair share of the crappy side effects.. it ain't right.. i am contemplating in using the CHANTIX.. because i would like to and should quit smoking.. and i would like to experience the weird dreams again.. plus there is the slight chance of receiving the priceless gift of gas.. so i am going to look into it.. http://www.chantix.com/ .. so hopefully one day soon after a nap or after a night in sleep mode.. i can blog about a story of me farting so loud that i wake myself up from some outrageous dream.. and hopefully i won't smell like cigarettes..

Ah, I hear Bazzukajoe had a glimpse of a barese sack. Very impressive.

BTW, is this what Jenia was talking about the other day? Maybe he really did receive a recommendation!

I know Tom wrote "bari sax" but for some reason I read "Barry K." That confusion quickly cleared, but for the rest of the story I pictured him playing a "barese saxophone," whatever that would look like (we know how it would sound -- garbled).

But I figure, the guy sporting a barese sax is always going to get the sweet girl at any party, so the rest of Tom's story makes perfect sense to me. May they have a splendid time together.

Mille figli maschii.

Tom, that was the greatest story ever told.
Give me a call and let me know how it unfolds. Today nikki, tomorrow the world. I believe a new name is in order to replace TRUMPET ACE moniker you currently go by. I had a great time in vegas despite the searing heat. My door is always open if you ever want to get away from the connecticut malaise. We recently moved into a larger place and there is always a spot for you and the connecticut division of the massari's. I will warn you that i do not watch c-span and i do not eat tofu. I hope this does not change your impression of me.

A few things to address today about my life that I'm pretty excited about.

My school has a jazz band. This isn't the same jazz band that had a celebrity endorsement from the infamous 'Mrs. Edmann.' Actually, this is a well put together jazz ensemble with highly skilled musicians from my school. This ensemble plays music that is difficult to master, but sounds absolutely fantastic. I have no idea how I
made it into the ensemble, other than the fact that I was the only bari sax that auditioned.

My conductor decided to pull out some songs that sort of feature the bari sax. I dunno what his motivation was for this. Is he trying to make me freak out? Is he trying to make me reach my full potential? Is he trying to make me screw up in front of a large audience to embarrass me? I think he will manage all of these things at the same time. The songs sounds really bad ass, though. One song in particular shines among the rest. It is aptly named Funkalicious. I think the title speaks for itself.

Moving on!

A couple weeks back, I went to a Halloween party which I was invited to by a friend of mine who wasn't actually throwing the party. Turns out my friend Christen has a friend named Kaela who was throwing this party, and they had a shortage on guys. For some reason, the first name that came to mind when thinking of guys that could come to this party to make it awesome was 'Tom.' I ended up going, thinking to myself, "Well, at least it'll give me something to do on a Friday night. Maybe we'll chill, maybe we'll dance...Whatever." Chilling is not what happened.

At this party, there were a bunch of people I didn't know. Actually, I knew only two people. One person I really knew, but the other was just a minor acquaintance of mine. I arrive at the party, only to be greeted and introduced to four girls that go to a Catholic school up by me. I notice one of them in particular who seemed to look a little more physically fit than the other three, and seemed to be a bit more confident. She was a little more outspoken, and dressed in some sort of skimpy, modern day vampiress outfit. A little bit of time past, and I started making conversation and hanging out with these four girls. I talked mostly to the aforementioned vampiress who I came to know as 'Nikki.'

This was a joint party between siblings - The highschool-age sister named Kaela and the smaller, eighth-grade brother named something-that-I-didn't-really-care-all-too-much-to-catch. Kaela had her group of friends, and all of us were highschoolers. We decided, however, to hang out together with her brother's wannabe-macho buddies. The twenty-or-so of us that were there decided it'd be bad ass to play hide and seek in the dark. So we did.

Nikki and I ended up hiding together the whole time, whether it was me and her in a boiler room or mashed into a seven inch space between a sauna and a wall. Because of this time we had together, we joked and laughed and got to know each other a little better. As hide and seek came to a close, us older kids noticed a rift in the eighth grade tribe. Some kids were staying completely away from others. We couldn't exactly tell why, but it was starting to dampen the mostly upbeat feeling of the party. Me and Nikki, without even knowing the other was doing the same thing, went to try and figure out what was wrong and help them cure their middle school drama.

The two of us started working together as a team of two awesome people to mediate and psychoanalyze the issue at hand, trying to stitch up the little breakage in the friendship that had occurred. We found out that there was way more middle school drama than either of us thought there could be. She impressed me with her quick wit and intellectual tongue, but at the same time, her ability to connect with these kids and her ability to figure out each little insecurity the kids had just as I went along trying to cure each one of these insecurities.

Smart AND good looking? WTF?

Sure enough, as time went on, we solved the problems of these eighth graders and got them to be a little more tolerant of each other, for at least the rest of the night. We went back to join our main group of people, only to find that they were trying to find some dance music to put on. Once they decided on a CD, we took each other's hand and sauntered off to the dance floor. We danced together for the rest of the night. Before she had to leave, I asked her for her number, which she gave to me gladly.

Funny fact? I found out after she left that earlier in the night, Nikki asked Kaela for my number. Means she's at least somewhat interested, right?

I was completely taken aback by what happened. I went to this party, expecting to chill out and listen to some music, but came out of it love-struck. This girl was amazing.

We continued our conversations online, delving into everything from religion to spirituality to how the menstrual cycle is a "bitch in a uterus-shaped can."

Nikki is attractive, intelligent, and able to uphold a conversation. She's funny, understanding, and willing to do something a little odd to make people laugh. She's honest, open, and amazingly friendly.

I hope we get to hang out soon.

Tramadol plus Prozac equals seizures and possible death--why they are never prescribed together. Good way to end an argument. The police report is filed. I didn't press charges but I still can. Next time make sure the pills are dissolved completely when you want to whack someone you disagree with.

Princess Lea.
She got much candy. Much too much.
Someone told me she looks like the baby from Full House michelle.
I do not think so. Uncle Jerry thought she was dressed like Fiona from Shrek. I thought the wig gave it away. Everyone else knew it. On the right is the pumpkin patch near our house. She is showing her teeth. And holding a strange gourd. I look forward to seeing the boys apparel for halloween.